My husband got the babysitter pregnant


January 22, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 years old and my husband is 29. We have two children together. My last child is two years old. We did not want her to go to day care as yet. I have some friends who have a relative staying with them. She was unemployed, so we had her stay with the baby and take care of her. This young woman is 20 years old. She became very attached to the baby and we loved that. Sometimes when I have to work late, I did not have to worry, because she was there with the child.

This girl is not an educated person. Since she came among us, we tried to help her. I paid her more than the minimum wage, and whenever I went to the store to shop, she would come with me. I have purchased things for her.

I think that I am a smart girl. I have a very good job. You may call me naive, but I didn't see this one coming. My husband got involved with this girl, but there was never a time I saw anything strange between them.


To cut a long story short, this girl abruptly left the job. But she also left a note addressed to me, telling me that my husband got her pregnant and was begging her to do an abortion, but as a Christian girl, she could not do an abortion. She begged me pardon for having sex with my husband, but she also said that he said I am too busy for him.

I cannot believe that my husband would tell her the things that she told me because after I got the letter, I called her on the phone and she told me lots of personal things my husband told her. My husband said the girl was telling a lot of lies, but she isn't lying because she could not know these things unless he said them to her.

This girl said that she will have the baby. I don't want her to call my husband's name, so I am in favour of her giving up the child for adoption. Her relatives don't want her to give up the child for adoption. When I asked my husband why he didn't use a condom and we have condoms that we use for ourselves, he couldn't answer.

Pastor, I took my husband from Jamaica. He was living in a very poor area in Kingston. He had two children with a girl there and when he came to America and wasn't sending her anything, I insisted that he sends money.

Two years ago I sent a barrel of things for the girl. It is hard to forgive this man for what he has done and I can't deal with it. I have been crying from the time I found out that the girl got pregnant for him, and all he is saying is that he is sorry.

Well, I am sorry I marry him and I believe that I am going to blow up the relationship, because I can get another man. I am young and I look good.

My husband does not support me. I make much more than what he is making.


Dear S.J.,

Your husband has blown a good relationship. You gave him an opportunity to do well by marrying him and taking him to America, but evidently, he was a bad boy a long time before he married you, because he had a woman in Jamaica and she had two

children by him.

He came to America and would not even support the children he left in Jamaica. So, please excuse me for telling you the truth. He has not been a responsible man. Shame on him!

One the other hand, I am glad that you have helped his children in Jamaica. I believe you love him, but you have been extremely careless. You should not have employed this girl to look after your children and to be there alone with your husband day and nights (oh, may God forgive me if I sound harsh. I don't mean to).

It is just the truth. You know that this man was a bad man, so when you allowed this woman to be in your house alone with your husband, it was like putting 'butter a puss mouth'.

You are a trying woman. Your husband doesn't care. He has brought shame upon the family and he is not a man who can keep his mouth. He discussed private matters between himself and you with this girl, and by doing so he has embarrassed you. Whatever mistakes you might have made is overshadowed by his immoral conduct.

I hope that this young lady will carry the pregnancy and keep her baby, and I hope that you would not encourage her to do anything otherwise.


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