Cousin trying to steal my man


January 25, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. In March I will be 20. I am having a problem. I have a boyfriend who is helping me. My mother died when I was 13.

My father has not remarried. I am living with him along with my only brother and a cousin who is the same age as I am.

My father said that he is not going to remarry until after my younger brother is finished with his college degree. I am in college. My cousin who is living with us is not ambitious. She is taken up with fashion.

My father is helping her and he told her to try to go back to school. All she talks about is finding a rich man. She is attractive so she relies on that. My father is not against me having a boyfriend.

He told me that I should not bring any shame on him, so I should know what I am doing. I know two women who love my father, but he told us that he is not interested in any of them. When my mother died she was my size, so sometimes I even wear her clothes.

One day my father saw me in a dress my mother wore twice, and he cried. He had bought her that dress for her birthday. My father is a good Christian and he is respected in his church.

My cousin lied to my boyfriend about me. She told him that I am cheating on him. She asked him for stuff and he sent them to her through another girl.

When I saw her with the things, I asked her where she got them from and she told me that it was another guy who had given them to her. But the girl my boyfriend sent them with told me that they came from him.


This girl is doing everything to take my boyfriend away from me. I found out that she sent half-nude pictures of herself to my boyfriend and pictures in her two-piece bathing suit.

And the thing is, Pastor, when my boyfriend sends me money, I always give her some of it. Now that might be the reason why she is trying to take him away from me.

I asked her why she has to lie and accuse me of having another guy. She said that it was my boyfriend who had asked her if I had another man.

She said that she told him that I am always going out and he took that to believe that I am always cheating. My boyfriend said that it was nothing like that.

He said that it was she who had told him that I was cheating, and that she loved him and would never cheat on him. I don't know if I should tell my father what she did.

My father may just ask her to leave, and she would have to go and live with a man. She is not very smart but she is attractive. All she has are her good looks.

So, Pastor, please tell me what to do.


Dear C.P.,

It goes without saying that your cousin likes your boyfriend and is prepared to do just about anything to cause him to become interested in her and abandon you.

She is an empty-headed girl, and that is why she feels that this man would be very impressed by her half nakedness.

If she has all these good looks, she should not try to take away your man. She should find another man on her own. But let me tell you, please understand that it is not just a man that she needs.

What she is seeking is a man who can give her lots of money. So that is one reason why she has turned to your boyfriend.

I hate to say that your man is not even using common sense. He should have contacted you and he should have told you what this girl was doing.

It appears that he believes what she has said and if given the opportunity, he would go to bed with her.

I would not suggest that you tell your father what you have found out that she is doing, but warn this girl that you would see to it that your father kicks her out if she does not desist from lying to your boyfriend.

You should tell your boyfriend decide whether he wants her or you, but you have nothing to be ashamed of.


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