Addicted to porn and afraid I'll cheat

by

February 19, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am a 21-year-old man. I am currently a student at university. I am faced with two problems and I would love to get your advice.

Problem one, I was introduced to pornography at a young age by an older brother who thought that I was ready for sex at the age of 13.

At 17, I became sexually active and the urges for sex led me to start masturbating.

I did pretty well in high school and college. I started masturbating during my final year in college. It felt good then, but I knew that it was wrong because I read the Bible on a regular basis.

I really wanted to stop, but it was hard to do so. My body was telling me yes, while my mind was saying no. I have sex on a regular basis with my girlfriend, but I still find time for porn.

We have been dating for almost a year now. I told her about it, but not that I am addicted. I have never cheated on my girlfriend.

She is smart, understanding, kind and very good to me. We both communicate very well.

Problem two is I think that I will cheat on my girlfriend soon, Pastor. I really don't want to, but my body is pushing me.

I am doing my best to hold out, but these young women started approaching me on the campus. I don't want them to think that I am soft because I keep drifting away from certain conversations and not taking their numbers.

My girlfriend told me that she would understand if I cheat, and she would forgive me because she does not want us to break up. She is also 21.

I really don't want to hurt her, Pastor, and before I start to cheat or lie to her, I would prefer to end the relationship, but I love her so much.

I am very friendly and I know what and how to say things to make these females smile. I can't help it. Am I a weak man? Please give me your prayers and advice.

Brain Drain

Dear Brain Drain,

Porn addiction is real and I must tell you that if you do not get it under control, you would engage in it even when you are an old man.

Some people think that getting married will solve their problem, but that is not true. Many married men indulge in pornography.

Some couples watch pornographic videos as a prelude to sex and as entertainment. Some do not have any control over porn; it controls them instead.

The first thing is to admit that you are having the problem and that you need help, so you have taken the right step.

This problem will not go away by itself. You are going to need God to help you to deal with this problem, and there may be Christians in whom you may need to confide to help you pray about it.

There are some practical rules to follow, such as not locking away yourself in the room looking at porn on the computer.

Associate yourself with solid Christian people who would show you love and who are endeavouring to live clean lives.

Spend much time in prayer. Ask God to strengthen you and keep your thoughts away from such things like pornography.

Claim scriptural promises from The Bible, such as Philippians 4:13 King James Version (KJV) "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

When you are tempted to masturbate or to watch pornographic films, remember that temptation in itself is not sin. The sin is when you yield to temptation and if you were to fail, don't give up.

Perhaps what you should do is to begin to go to church, surrender and commit your life to God. Buy good Christian CDs and music videos and whenever you are tempted to look at porn, watch good, clean movies and listen to good gospel music.

Your life would not change overnight, but what I have mentioned could help you to be a better person.

Pastor

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