Can't stop cheating on my man


February 22, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old. I have a boyfriend who I love very much, but recently, I got involved with a man who attends the same school I attend.

This man and I had agreed that this relationship is only friendly, with a few sexual benefits. I knew I liked him, but not enough to leave my boyfriend.

When we first met, this man told me that he didn't have a girlfriend, but as soon as I brought up the topic of becoming attached, he produced a girlfriend. So, I stopped talking to him.

There is a lot more to this story than I wish to share. I know I love my boyfriend, and we are planning to get married when I graduate next year.

But the problem is, I can't stop having sex with the other man. I think I can, but I don't want to as yet.

What I want to know is: Should I tell my boyfriend about this man, or take it to the grave with me? Does sleeping with this man mean that I might not love my boyfriend?

I know this man is just using me, but am I not just using him as well for my gratification? Please give me your advice.


Dear K.T.,

You should not plan to get married to the man you call your boyfriend, because you have not been true to him. You have been having sex with the other guy. Perhaps you love him more than you love your boyfriend. He is meeting your sexual needs.

According to what you have said, you find it difficult to do without having sex with this other guy. Well, you said you can, but you don't want to.

You find having sex with him to be sweet, so even if you were to get married, you would cheat on your husband unless you learnt to make a clean break now with this other guy.

You said that you are using each other. If your boyfriend finds out that you are being intimate with this guy, he may leave you, and he will have good reasons for doing so.

I am putting it to you that you are not a good girl, and men love good women to be their wives.


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