Cheating on my no-good boyfriend


February 23, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for years now. I feel depressed. I have a boyfriend and we have been together for about one year. He says that he loves me, but his action does not show me that.

He does not behave as someone who cares. He complains about everything and he compares me with other women. This man has never told me that I am beautiful.

He has other women and I can feel it. He spends his money on other women. Valentine's Day has just passed and he never gave me a gift, not even a rose.

He did not even take me out. He has never bought me anything for my birthday.

I buy him gifts all the time. When I buy him these gifts, he has never even said that he appreciates them. He takes everything for granted. I treat him like a king.

This man does not spend any money to take care of the house. I have to spend my money to do everything. I buy food, wash, cook and clean.

I couldn't take it anymore, so I got involved with another man. This guy loved me and I loved him. We started having sex.

My boyfriend found out that I had met this guy. I was careless and I gave away myself. I did not delete any of the messages this guy sent to me.

My boyfriend searched my phone and saw them. I had a password, but my boyfriend knew it and so he was able to read everything.

Pastor, all I was seeking was love which my boyfriend didn't give me. I did not want to cheat on him, but he was not giving me the love that I needed.

He was short on love and in giving me money. This other guy gave me love and money at the same time.

He did not take me anywhere. If I wanted to see a movie, I have to buy it and look at it at home. I don't know if he was ashamed of me because he has never taken me anywhere.

But the other guy did and he is not willing to let me go. He does not want us to break up.

I don't know what I am going to do because I love this guy. I don't want to break up with him, either. I am still sleeping with my boyfriend, but I am afraid that he may hurt me.

He doesn't know that I am still having a relationship with the other guy.


Dear M.K.,

Stop living dangerously. It is either you are going to continue having a relationship with the man with whom you are living or you are going to leave him and remain alone, or you are going to be in a serious relationship with the other guy. Things are too serious these days. Men do crazy things to women.

This man that you are living with behaves like a miser. He doesn't spend any money on neither you nor the house. You have to feed yourself, clean and do all the chores.

Why have you stayed with him? The man does not take you anywhere and he doesn't show you love.

I am not saying that what you did is right, but you sought love outside the relationship. Although women are cleverer than men when it comes to cheating, you didn't cover your tracks at all.

Perhaps you wanted him to find out that you could have got another man in your life. I repeat, make up your mind. If you are going to stay, end the relationship totally with the other guy.

If you are going to leave, leave. But don't go to live with this other guy immediately after you have broken up with your present boyfriend. Let there be a cooling-off period.


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