My man constantly accuses me of cheating
I am a regular reader of your column and listener of your talkshow programme. I am a 30-year-old woman who has been with a 52-year-old man for the past eight years. We used to have a good relationship, and then, suddenly, he started accusing me of having different men. I have never cheated on him, but I have male friends. He has changed, so now, he doesn't want me to go out with my friends. He doesn't like some of the girls I associate with. He thinks that they are bad and that they are encouraging me to cheat on him.
And, pastor, I believe that this man is cheating on me. He has women calling him on his cell phone. I searched his phone and saw the number of times a woman called him. I do not trust him with that woman. He thinks that I am paranoid when I question certain things, but I am not a fool. Why does he hide his cell phone? He doesn't want me to answer it. Don't you think that when a man is hiding his cell phone from his woman, something fishy is going on? That is the way I see it.
One day, when he was in the bathroom, I searched his phone and saw the number of a girl I suspect he is having an affair with. She lives abroad. He has refused to admit that something is going on between them. This woman told him that I called, and he was surprised that I did so. When I called her, she did not admit that they were having an affair. She said that I should ask him. He told me that no one would separate us from each other.
He has been in America for more than a month, and I have not heard a word from him. I don't know what to say, believe, or do, so I am asking you for your fatherly advice. I would love to hear from you.
This relationship is not going anywhere, and you shouldn't put your confidence in this man. You say he has been away for more than a month and has not called you. The relationship is not sound. I would not encourage you to go with another man right now, but I must tell you that the way he is behaving is not the way a man who is in love with his woman behaves. I repeat, don't put any confidence in him. He is not serious about you. And that is very sad because both of you have had a relationship for a very long time.