My man constantly accuses me of cheating


March 15, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and listener of your talkshow programme. I am a 30-year-old woman who has been with a 52-year-old man for the past eight years. We used to have a good relationship, and then, suddenly, he started accusing me of having different men. I have never cheated on him, but I have male friends. He has changed, so now, he doesn't want me to go out with my friends. He doesn't like some of the girls I associate with. He thinks that they are bad and that they are encouraging me to cheat on him.

And, pastor, I believe that this man is cheating on me. He has women calling him on his cell phone. I searched his phone and saw the number of times a woman called him. I do not trust him with that woman. He thinks that I am paranoid when I question certain things, but I am not a fool. Why does he hide his cell phone? He doesn't want me to answer it. Don't you think that when a man is hiding his cell phone from his woman, something fishy is going on? That is the way I see it.

One day, when he was in the bathroom, I searched his phone and saw the number of a girl I suspect he is having an affair with. She lives abroad. He has refused to admit that something is going on between them. This woman told him that I called, and he was surprised that I did so. When I called her, she did not admit that they were having an affair. She said that I should ask him. He told me that no one would separate us from each other.

He has been in America for more than a month, and I have not heard a word from him. I don't know what to say, believe, or do, so I am asking you for your fatherly advice. I would love to hear from you.


Dear H.D.,

This relationship is not going anywhere, and you shouldn't put your confidence in this man. You say he has been away for more than a month and has not called you. The relationship is not sound. I would not encourage you to go with another man right now, but I must tell you that the way he is behaving is not the way a man who is in love with his woman behaves. I repeat, don't put any confidence in him. He is not serious about you. And that is very sad because both of you have had a relationship for a very long time.


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