Can't do without my married boyfriend


March 20, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I have been in a relationship for almost 14 years now, but this man belongs to somebody else. He is married.

Over the years, he has been saying that he and the woman are just sharing living space and are not together. He promised to leave the house, but whenever the opportunity arises, he finds something to blame me for and eventually stays with her.

I have tried to end the relationship with him, but I never have because I love him so much. I have even slept with someone else, and when I told him, he got depressed and threatened to kill himself.

For weeks, I have been very unhappy. I feel trapped because I want to move on with my life, but I am scared he might hurt me or himself. I can't even bear the thought of that.

He is very controlling and always wants things done his way. He never wants to take responsibility for his actions. Instead, he tries to turn things around to make me look bad. I love him, but I am very tired of the situation.


Dear S.E.,

You are playing with your life. You have had sex with another man, and you took the risk of telling this man what you have done. Don't you know that he will never trust you?

He may want to hold on to this

relationship for as long as he can, but it is unlikely that he will ever marry you. He is not happy with you, and you are not happy with him.

I suggest, therefore, that both of you make an appointment to see a family counsellor and decide how you are going to separate or forgive each other.

Don't stay with this man while having other sexual relationships. This is not a man you can take for granted. He may hurt you. I repeat, both of you should see a family counsellor.


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