Boyfriend keeps pressuring me for sex


April 09, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 15 and I am living with two brothers and my father. My mother is in the US. She is not coming back until August.

Pastor, I have a boyfriend, but I have never had sex with him. He came to visit me and that is something my parents are against. My brothers knew that my boyfriend came here and they threatened to tell my father. They even say that we had sex, but nothing like that went on.

Pastor, one day I came home from school and my 17-year-old brother had a girl in his room. He was having sex with her.

I did not know that she was in there with him until I heard the tumbling, and my brother told her to "shhhh". She told him that he should take his time.

I climbed up and looked over the door and saw him having sex with the girl. I recognised her. She is a schoolgirl.

When I was stepping down from the stool, I slid, so my brother knew that something was wrong. You should see the position that he had that girl in. So, I told him that I am going to talk.

He said he did not care because I was 'taking man' and he is older than I, so he can have a girlfriend.

I have never had sex. The only thing that I have done is to kiss my boyfriend. I went to his home one day with him and his mother told me that he has other girlfriends and he will get me into trouble.

She advised me to stay away from him. He said his mother was lying on him. He still bothers me for sex, but I am not interested.

My father is a manager of a store and he gives me money every week to go to school. I have never taken any money from my boyfriend.

Sometimes when I can't see him I cry, but I think of what his mother said to me. Do you think she would lie on her son? Please give me your advice.


Dear S.P.,

Your brother is very out of order. It is unlikely that he will ever tell your father that you had a man in his house, because he wouldn't want you to tell him about what you saw he was doing with his girlfriend. So, don't let that part bother you at all.

But may I remind you that you are only 15 and you have not yet reached the age of consent. You should not go to this guy's home with him.

His mother told you not to come back to her place because her son has many girls and she doesn't want you to get hurt. You cannot say that you have not been warned.

She is a good mother. I know that mothers have warned girls about their sons having many girls. Some do not want their sons to know that they have told the girls about their conduct.

Sometimes when mothers warn girls about their sons, some of the girls say that it is because the mothers don't like them.

I hope that you would take the advice of this woman and keep yourself quiet. You are not in need of money. Your father supports you, and I assumed that your mother sends money to you, too.

Stick with your books. Tell this guy that both of you can remain good friends, but you are not yet ready for sex. I hope your brother did not have unprotected sex with the girl he brought to your father's house.


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