I'm not trying to fool my girlfriend

Dear Pastor,

I read about the woman who wrote you under the headline 'I think my man is trying to con me'.

Pastor, right then I knew it was my girlfriend who wrote to you. Now, she wants to leave me because you told her to do so.

Pastor, I am asking you to please hear my side of the story because I don't want to lose my girlfriend. I got my first child while I was still in school.

My children's mother is older than I am, so she had already graduated.

She was always on the road loitering. So, I used to take care of my daughter after school.

I stayed faithful to her for three years even though she left me to babysit every night while she went out to party.

She cheated on me with a guy who lived just a few houses down from us, and that made me lose respect for her. I started to cheat a few years after.

I have got more mature, and I understand life more, so I wanted to get married. Then my child's mother had to mess that up.

We spoke about personal things, and she went and told people on the road, and it came back to my ears. If I confided in her and we had a disagreement, she would curse me and shout everything out so that everyone could hear.

I did build her a house, but she doesn't want to move. She also allowed her brother to move into the house, so I decided I was not going to spend any more money on it.

I am prepared to leave her in it because I am not the kind of man to run her out.

CHILDREN OUT LATE

Where my children are concerned, she keeps them on the road until late. She doesn't listen to anything I say if we have a disagreement.

She takes it out on our youngest daughter by pushing her down or slapping her. That is why when I am leaving I want to take my daughter with me.

My babymother is careless, and I don't trust her around my youngest daughter.

I cannot be with my babymother. The relationship would never work. We live in the same house, and it has been more than a year since I have touched her.

We don't even sleep in the same bed, and this is not how I want to live my life. I love my children. They are my world, but there is no future for me and their mother.

Pastor, I really love my girlfriend, and I really don't want her to leave me. I am not fooling her; I really want to spend the rest of my life with her. I am asking you to reconsider your position.

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I thank you for taking the time to respond to the letter published recently that you purport was referring to you. I cannot confirm whether the writer was speaking about you.

You have tried to explain yourself well, so whether or not you are the person, I would say to you that you deserve comments from me.

You have to try to convince your girlfriend that you are speaking the truth. You cannot expect her to accept what you say without question.

If your babymother insists that she is not leaving, then you have to get out. You have to make a clean break.

It is either this new woman, or your babymother. I told the woman that you are making a fool of her and she should end the relationship with you.

I make no apology for making that suggestion. Perhaps what both of you should do is to make an appointment to see a family counsellor and discuss this problem.

However, I cannot encourage any woman to marry you unless you can deal with this matter with your children's mother.

You have my prayers, and if I can be of further help to you, don't hesitate to contact me.

Pastor