Chatty-chatty friend got me in trouble

Dear Pastor,

I will be 24 later this year. A terrible spirit got hold of me and I did something wrong.

I must tell you that I have a friend. We grew up together and attended the same high school. We went everywhere together and we trusted each other. I used to tell her my secrets and she used to tell me hers. When we were in high school, we used to sleep at each other’s houses. Sometimes we used to wear each other’s clothes. That is how close we were.

One day she told me that she cheated on her boyfriend. She said the other guy was always asking her for sex, and he offered her money that she could not turn down. She said she could tell me about it because she knew I would not tell anybody. She told her parents that she was coming to spend the weekend at my house. Her parents didn’t bother to check up on her.

This guy picked her up and they went to a hotel and had sex before he brought her to my house. She even offered me some of the money the guy gave to her. I told her that I did not want it, but she forced me to take it. She said the money couldn’t get me pregnant and she would not get pregnant either because they used protection. I told her I didn’t know she would do that, and she said she did not know either. But the guy was good. I promised her that I would not say a word.

Well, I am faced with a problem now. On Independence Day, I went out. My boyfriend could not be with me because he had to work. My ex linked up with me and I told my boyfriend that I was going with a friend. I did not tell him that the friend was male. We went out, and the event was very long. My boyfriend communicated to me by text and I told him that I was still at the event.

This guy has a car and before taking me home, he parked at a spot where there were two other cars and everybody was minding their business. This guy had sex with me. I did not take any money from him because I consider that as prostitution.

When I told my girlfriend what I did, she said we can’t look at each other as if we never cheated. I told her I did not sell my ‘front’ like she did. She told her boyfriend what I did, and her boyfriend told my boyfriend that I cheated. When my boyfriend saw me, he grabbed me and started to beat me. I have been begging my boyfriend to forgive me, but he says he cannot. He said he was hoping that we would get married, but I have spoiled everything; and if I did it once, I will do it again.

My boyfriend reads your column every day. So, I am asking you whether you would be able to meet with us for counselling. I don’t know if I can face you, but I do not want to lose my boyfriend. So, please sir, try and help me.

E.

Dear E.,

As I went through this letter, I recalled dealing with an issue.

There were some white girls from North America who decided to come to Jamaica to go wild. They planned their trip and stayed in a hotel. But before leaving North America, they pledged that they were going to have sex with Jamaican men and that none of them would say anything about what they did here. They came to Jamaica and went wild with the Jamaican men. Then they returned to North America and their men at home did not know that all of them cheated on them. None of these women divulged the secret of what they did in Jamaica.

You and your so-called girlfriend used to discuss what you call your secrets. When she had sex with another man, she told you about it and offered you some of the money the man gave her. You foolishly thought that you could do the same thing, and that she would keep that as a secret. She has not, and now your boyfriend does not want to continue the relationship.

You are very naïve. I would meet with you and your boyfriend, but I cannot promise you that I would encourage him to continue having a relationship with you. That would be totally up to him. Anyone who wants to meet with me may contact me at 876-929-1667 0r 876- 877-1009.

Pastor