Boyfriend won’t marry me unless I speak in tongues

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and I have a boyfriend. He does not want me to have other male friends.

We have been friends for a year and a half, and unless I am with him, he does not want me to go out with my friends who were my former schoolmates. I told him I am not doing anything wrong, and I cannot stop socialising with my friends. Because of him, I dropped most of my male friends.

This man went into my phone, without my permission, and removed every male name, including those of my cousins. I am so angry with him because of that. I asked him whether he has stopped communicating with the girlfriends he had before and he said he only talks to two of them now. This man is so jealous. I can’t even say hello to the guys at my church. I sing on the youth choir and I have to go to rehearsal. But unless he is going to be there, he does not want me to attend rehearsal. He is 25 years old and he wants to control me.

His father is a pastor, but from another denomination, and my boyfriend says that what he is telling me is the way his father and mother operate. But I have another concern. He told me that I do not have the Holy Spirit because I do not speak in tongues and that means I am not filled. He believes that I should seek to be baptised by the Holy Spirit and speak in tongues.

He invited me to his father’s church to a meeting where they were tarrying for the Holy Ghost. I refused to go. He said any day I start to speak in tongues, we should plan on getting married. I don’t believe that he is the right man for me, so I do not want to speak in tongues. I told him I want my freedom back, because before I met him, I was free to go out with my friends and talk to anybody without feeling that I am doing something wrong.

Pastor, don’t you think something is wrong with my boyfriend? Do you believe that he trusts me? And what about speaking in tongues? Many of the people in my church are godly people, but they do not speak in tongues. Are all those people going to hell? According to my boyfriend, anyone who is not baptised with the Holy Ghost and speaks in tongues will not go to heaven. Is that true? I am eager to hear from you, so please answer my letter.

S.

Dear S.,

Your boyfriend is trying to control you and you should not allow that at all.

Only a silly man would not appreciate that his girlfriend has her former schoolmates, who would occasionally meet with her or talk with her on the phone. This man is totally out of order to delete all numbers that were stored in your phone that he suspected were of men. He is a boy and you should end the relationship with him forthwith. He is totally out of order.

Concerning what he has told you about speaking in tongues and that is a condition to marry you, you should know that this man is mental. Why would you have to speak in tongues before a man marries you? Your boyfriend is an idiot and I don’t care who disagrees with me. I repeat, end the relationship with him and set yourself free.

Pastor