My girlfriend is sending me to school


October 28, 2015

Dear Pastor,

I am 21. My girlfriend is 25. We have been friends from since I was in school. She used to help me with lunch money. Sometimes when my mother didn't have it, this girl would tell me to make sure that I went to school.

I told my mother she didn't need to worry because someone was helping me. She asked who, and I told her. Her father has a business. she used to help him. When she got her money, she used to give me part of it.

She was the first girlfriend I ever had, but we kept it quiet because we were afraid people would say she was much older than I was. The first time we had sex she told me what to do. We went to the beach and she helped me to have sex with her on the beach. She had a boyfriend before me, so she was not a stranger to sex.

Sometimes I have to warn her that I will leave her because she is very jealous. She also tells me things like, "Remember if I were not around you would not have finished school." I don't like that although I know it is true.

I respect her. Some of my friends tease me and call me a 'one-burner' and that no young man should be a 'one-burner'. I have one girlfriend, who is this girl, but I have had sex with two different girls, which she doesn't know about. I don't want my friends to know either because they might just talk. She might hear. I don't know what she would do to me. I love her so much.

I have three subjects. I am trying to do two more, including mathematics. She is trying to help me, but every time we meet for her to help me, I get an erection. I can't concentrate. Instead of doing my work, we do something else. She wants to have a child. She does not talk about marriage, but she is always talking about wanting a child, so we are planning to have a child.

I took a chance and had sex with one of the girls without using the condom. I regret what I did, but this girl is supposed to be clean. I always use the condom when my girlfriend and I have sex because she was not ready for a child. I know she can afford one because she has a good job, but I don't know what to do about her jealousy.


Dear D.S.,

You should not have listened to the guys who teased you about being a one-burner. Before you misbehaved with these two other girls, you were not worried about contracting an STD, but now it's on your mind, wondering whether this girl is disease-free or not. If there ever was a time you should have been careful, not have unprotected sex, it was when you went to that girl.

Sir, you were very fortunate to have had help from this young woman from the time you were in high school. She loves you and proved it by assisting you. Yes, she is jealous, but it is something that she can overcome. It's not going to be easy, but that is no reason for you to begin to fool around or to disrespect her.

It is not only contracting STDs that you should be worried about. What about the possibility that you might have impregnated the other girl? You would be destroying the lovely relationship you have had with your girlfriend.

Concerning the subjects you are doing, I suggest you study in public as that would minimise the temptation to have sex.

Your girlfriend is ready for a child. You said she can afford to have a child. What about you? What both of you should consider is whether you want to have a child out of wedlock or whether you should get married and raise a family.

Show love and respect to your girlfriend. Do not listen to your friends. Stop playing around with other women. If you don't you may lose this woman and may never get another like her.


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