I'm not comfortable living with my sister


October 29, 2015

Dear Pastor,

This is the second time I am writing to you. The first time I wrote, I did not see my letter published and I was disappointed. I will be looking in The Star for this one. I am 17 and living with my sister and her boyfriend. We are sisters on our mother's side, but we have different fathers, so we have different last names.

My sister has a good job. We don't resemble at all. I am living with her and all I get from her is food and sometimes she buys me little things. When she told my mother to send me to live with her, I was glad and I thought she would assist me with clothes, but I was wrong. When I need anything, I have to call my father and tell him and he tells me where to meet him. The last time I told my sister I was going to get something from my father, she cursed and said why am I talking so much about him, if I had to go to see him so often, I should pack my bag and go and live with him.

I called my mother and told her what my sister said and my mother asked her and she denied it, but I heard her. My mother asked her if she wants me to leave and she said that is up to me. She has one room and I sleep on a sofa bed in the living room. I have to make sure I go to the bathroom before she and her boyfriend go to bed because to go to the bathroom, I have to go through her room.

Pastor, can you imagine that I have to use the 'chimmy' or go outside in the night and urinate? My father does not have the convenience for me to stay with him. I love my sister, but I don't know what she has against my father. I am going to school and my father is helping to pay my fees. Please respond to my letter.


Dear C.R.,

Try your very best to study and pass your exams. I want you to know that some sisters get along very well, but some older sisters often treat their younger sisters as if they are not intelligent and they see them as inconveniencing them, especially in the home. I must say that your sister who is living with her boyfriend does not have the most convenient home. If her boyfriend was not living there, you would have felt free to move around freely and you would have been able to use the bathroom without fear at any time during the night. As I see it, although your sister is helpful and has accommodated you, you would be much better off boarding. Discuss it with both parents and determine whether that is a better alternative. Many parents have had to board their children while they are in school. In the meantime, make sure that you are respectful to your sister at all times.


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