My husband rapes me every night
I am 46 and the mother of three children. I am living in an abusive relationship with my last two children's father. My two last children are 12 and 13. They have been living in this abusive home all their lives and I have been in it for 15 years. I have reported him to the police twice and have called them several times about him.
I am now going through sexual abuse because I am not working and I want money for my children and myself. Pastor, I was a victim of rape, incest and sexual abuse when I was a child because of my biological mother. I have struggled with this in the past, and now I have to be going through it again with this man. He waits until I am asleep at night, whether I am sick or not, then he rapes me and sucks my breasts.
This has been going on for about two years. I asked him why he is doing such wicked things to me and he said that he is not doing anything wrong and that he loves breasts. I told him that what he is doing is wrong and that I don't like it. I also told him about what I went through as a child and he cursed me.
I feel so violated as my body is being disfigured in the most abominable way. My breasts that were size 34B two years ago are now size 42D. I feel like dairy cow. It's like I am breastfeeding three babies and each day my breasts get bigger and heavier, and are racing to my navel as if I am a grandma.
The worst thing is that I am not working, to afford to buy the right size bras or clothes to wear. This man doesn't work all the time. He is a tiler and sometimes he doesn't work enough money to provide for the home. He drinks and smokes and gambles his money before he gets and finishes his tiling jobs.
Pastor, I know that this man has obeahed me and my children. That is why I can't find a good job, as I have done plenty of training through HEART and I am well qualified. One night, I had a dream that I was naked in the bed with a man who was having sex with me, and a little baby was sucking my breasts at the same time. I know this dream cannot be a good dream. I think it means that this man has set the demons from hell on me. Even when he is at work or not at home, I still can feel someone sucking my breasts when I am sleeping. I feel like killing myself, especially when I know that I have gone down on my knees and prayed about it and it's still happening to me.
I am trying my best to fight this evil and to get this parasitic man out of my life. I am not computer literate, so I am unable to access the Lady Saw Foundation website where they help abused women and children. Please, I am asking you to get some information about the foundation for me and a phone number so that I can contact them. Thank you in advance for your help.
I regret hearing that you are suffering psychologically, physically and emotionally. The man with whom you are living is very abusive. You talk about what he does to you even when you are sleeping. You consider his fondling of your breasts sexual abuse. If indeed he is trying to make love to you without your consent, that can be considered as abuse. He claims that he is not doing anything wrong, but he needs to understand that he should not do anything that you do not love or consent to.
What you need to do is to leave him as soon as possible. Second, you need spiritual deliverance. Cease from believing that this man has set a spirit on you and concentrate on the Lord Jesus Christ, who is a miracle worker. Healing is not only physical, it can also be spiritual.
You may ask someone to help you to get on to http://www.ladysawfoundation.org/. I wish you the best.