My mother is too annoying!


June 15, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 22. I just completed a bachelor of science at the University of The West Indies and I have never had a boyfriend. I have been reading your column often, lately. You give good advice to everyone who writes you.

Here is my problem. My dad died when I was 14. I didn't see him often because he had moved to a rural area.

I did not attend the funeral because I was scared. I could not look at my dad during his illness. He was always trembling and looked pale. So I did not want to see his body at the funeral service. I just did not want to accept that he was dead.

I did not cry until two years later. Now I regret not attending the funeral.

He was the sweetest and most caring gentleman ever. I loved him so much and I know he's disappointed because that I did not say goodbye.

Right now I'm really stressed. I'm doing a summer job. I have done an interview at an organisation and awaiting a response. I also got a call for another interview, days ago.

My mother worked for about three years of her life. It is her men who supported her financially. These men helped to send me to school.


In 2012, my sister, who was 20 at the time, had an argument with my mother about her boyfriend, over money. It developed into a fight and neighbours intervened.

My mother began to put our belongings outside, saying that if we did not leave her house she would poison and chop us up.

We went to stay with our aunt and had to wear our cousins' clothes because when we were leaving our mother refused to allow us to take our clothes. We had to call the police to help us get some of our clothes.

Anyway, one day she sent them in two garbage bags with her friend to us. She told our family members her side of the story and they turned against us.


Living with my aunt didn't last long. So we went back to live with our mother, who was living with a man at the time. She told him the worst things, too. If he didn't have any money to give her, she would curse him. I always felt bad for him.

Days ago, my mother cursed my sister and told her that she doesn't see why she has a man and the man does not give her money. She shouldn't be broke. I told my mother that we do not want to rely on men, so that is why we work. She got angry.

She also told my sister, who works and goes to college in the evenings, to go to a clinic to get the injection to prevent her from getting pregnant.

She has also said that men are going to beat us and do all kind of things to us because we are ungrateful and she has spent on us.

This is the reason why, most times, I tell her not to buy anything for me. I will do without. She has even told me how my mouth smells and calls me all kind of names.

I am really stressed and frustrated. I don't know what to do. I think our only option is to move out, but, again, she will say we are ungrateful and have reached where we want to go. The truth is we haven't as yet! As I write you this letter, I'm in tears. If my sister goes out, she calls he every minute and I'm not going to deal with that in my life because we are adults.

She's too annoying! I'm in urgent need of advice. Please respond.


Dear T.E.

I know it is cheaper for your sister and yourself to live in the same house with your mother.

However, your sister and yourself have had enough experience with your mother to know it is almost impossible to live harmoniously with her. Therefore, you should rent a two-room apartment and live on your own.

Your mother needs God in her life. I suppose that is the only way she will change. She needs to know the Prince of Peace. You are 22 and your sister is 24 both are adults.

You should go live on your own and turn your own key. It might be financially difficult for a while, but if you budget and spend money intelligently, you will not only survive but will get ahead.


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