I'm trying to give my man a child


June 21, 2016
Uterine Fibroids can be very painful.

Dear Pastor

I am 20 and have had a lot of heartbreaks. I am trying to find the right guy who will love and take care of me. I had a boyfriend, of the same age. When I met him I felt like he was Mr Right. He treated me well.

Every weekend I visited him, cooked for him and treated him like my king.

I decided to stay with him in his parish because I couldn't get any job where I was from. It wasn't his place so I couldn't stay there for long. I left and went to a neighbouring parish to stay with my cousin.

I got a job at a pharmacy. I wasn't comfortable because my cousin was so miserable, like he didn't want me there. He lived in a rented house and the landlord was disrespectful, so I decided to leave.

I asked my boyfriend to rent a place for me to stay so he could visit whenever he wanted. He said I should give him some time. He said I should try and seek a furnished room that doesn't cost a lot.

I heard about lots of places and told my boyfriend. However, he always found faults with the places.

Something happened and I had to leave my cousin's house.

I asked a young man, who packed shelves at the pharmacy, I worked to let me stay at his place until my boyfriend could help me.

He was kind and said yes. He had a friend that liked me. I wasn't interested so that friend went to the owner of the house and told him some lies about me. I had to leave.

I went to stay with a guy I did not know. I wasn't comfortable there but had no choice because I didn't want to go back to my parish. I would have suffered there. My parents were not able to help me. The strange guy said I could stay as long as I wanted because he liked me, but I didn't like him.

I kept reminding my boyfriend to help me to rent a place because I want to feel comfortable, safe and be able to sleep well at nights.

He ignored and treated me bad. He started blocking me from calling and texting him. I became frustrated and started crying because I didn't have any help and couldn't tell my parents I was staying at a stranger's place.

The strange guy never tried to have sex with me. He gave me a big bed for myself but I still felt stressed and uncomfortable.


I kept communicating with the guy from the pharmachy and we started hanging out at fun places. He started falling for me but didn't tell me. He decided to rent a place. We shared the rent. Some of my stress was relieved.

I was such a fool, I went back to talk to my boyfriend and asked him to help me to buy some household appliances. He started making excuses and treating me bad again, so I decided to leave him alone, though I still loved and missed him,

The guy Ilived with started telling me to stop thinking about my ex because he was not the right man for me. He said I should give him a chance because he would treat me better and make me happy. He begged me to give him a chance. He loved me but I didn't love him; I only liked him until my feelings grew for him. He helped me get a place. We lived together, stress free.

We were earning $7,600 each at the pharmacy and he helped me. We put money together and paid the rent, bought furniture and so on.

My ex was earning at least $30,000 every two weeks. He didn't help me. My current lover has upgraded from pharmacy packer to a policeman and I am a tour operator. Pastor, do you think this guy is the right man for me?

I have a little problem in getting pregnant. I am trying to give him a child but nothing is happening. I don't want him to think that am useless and can't give him a child. I have been trying for months. Sometimes that confuses me.


Dear S.B.

It appears to me that you meant well, all along, and you have taken certain risks that a young woman should not take with men.

Nevertheless, the young man with whom you are living seems to love you. However, neither if you are using common sense.

What he should be doing now is not trying to get you pregnant, but rather help you to go back to school to further your education.

You should be thankful to God that you have not got pregnant. You are in no mental condition to be a mother.

I am glad he has become a policeman and you have another job. Remember, having a child for this man will not cause him to stay with you forever. Go back to school.

If this man truly loves you, his goal should not be to get you pregnant now. When a man becomes a father, he has an awesome responsibility to take care of his child.

Remember you will have to go on maternity leave.

Motherhood is not a joke and a baby is not a toy. Take it from me, you are not ready to have a child. Stop trying to get pregnant.


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