Marriage has changed my husband


June 21, 2016

Dear Pastor

I have been married for a year and a half. We were together for 11 months before we got married. It was the best 11 months of my life. He was such a cool and humble person. Fast-forward, he cheats, disrespects me, disowns being married to me, leaves the home for weeks and months without calling, lies, and the list goes on.

Bottom line, I still love him and want our marriage to work. I am a Christian and pray about it a lot. I keep forgiving him each time because the Bible speaks of forgiveness. Is there a point where I should draw a line? I have lost a lot of weight and am suffering from high blood pressure, which landed me in the hospital.

I am now feeling betrayed, used, abused, disappointed and ashamed. I really need some help. I am really depressed.


Dear T.G.,

You are deeply in love with your husband but I am afraid he is not in love with you. He does not care about you at all. No man who cares about his wife would leave the matrimonial home for days, weeks, months and not contact his wife. Love does not operate that way. Love is caring.

The Bible also says love suffers for a long time. You have suffered. There comes a time when one must take action in one's own interest.

Your health is at risk, so you should do everything to protect your health and your future. You may not wish to divorce your husband, but you don't have to consider him as such. If he wants to go, permanently, let him go. He is a burden to you. Stop fretting about him.


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