I have a lifelong STI but I want to get married


June 30, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I have been in prison for 20 years. I will be getting out soon. When I was young I was a real rude boy and ran with a vicious, violent crowd, I ended up in prison for a murder I did not commit. Here is my problem I need your advice on. When I was in the streets I lived a wild life, and what I didn't know was that I caught an STI that I can't get rid of, and it can lead to diseases like cancer.

I do want to get married someday and I want to have kids. Now, how do I tell a woman this when I want to truly be her husband, and more important, when do I tell her? Bad enough, I am ashamed to tell a woman I have spent 20 years in prison for murder, much less that I have a lifelong STI.

I am now 40 years old and in four years I will be home. And, yes, I am a West Indian, African man. I only plan to be here in the United States for two years, then back to Trinidad. But I want an island woman who will understand me without looking at me as if I am a filthy animal. I refuse to lie to anyone about my past life, Pastor.

Please help me, I will greatly appreciate it.


Dear A.M.

I appreciate your honesty. I am not here to judge or to condemn you. You have already said that you have lived a wild life and you regret doing so.

I am sorry to know that you have contracted a very dangerous disease. I am sure that you have received advice from doctors as to whether it would be advisable for you to try and impregnate a woman. I wish you well. My prayers are with you.


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