My man made me think about suicide


June 30, 2016

Dear Pastor,

How are you? Hope all is well with you and that you're in the best of health. Pastor, I have written to you three times within the past two weeks and things seem to be getting worse than before. This is not my first relationship, but it is indeed my first heartbreak. I know I deserve far better than how this man has been treating me, yet. I still want to be with him. I have too many days like today, where if I try to imagine my life without him, I want to die.

I have spoken to a prophet who said that my man's mother tied me to him, but I don't believe that because I know she doesn't like me. I have contemplated suicide so many times and the only thing that's keeping me alive is the grace of God. I know he loves and wants to be with me too, but what I don't know is why he's not standing by me. I think I'm losing my mind. I am now a broken-hearted girl.


Dear T.B.,

What is going between this man and you is not love. It is clearly stupidity. Love doesn't behave that way. It is true that love is patient and kind, but there comes a time where one has to practise tough love. And tough love in your case means that you have to tell this man it is either he straightens up or get out of your life. And you have to stop behaving as a fool. Why should you allow a man to take you to the brink of suicide and still be with him? How could you consider yourself intelligent, and at the same time suffering abuse from him?

What does this man have that you believe that you can't do without? Any woman who believes that she can't do without a man will suffer at his hands, especially if he knows that is what she believes. When a woman goes into a relationship with a man, she wants it to last. But circumstances can change things. Therefore, one has to learn to adjust, and that is what you are not willing to do. You are not willing to look at the circumstances and tell yourself that you deserve better and that you are going to seek better. You are having a permanent pity party, while this man is having a good time doing his own thing.

Who is this so-called prophet that has told you that this man's mother has tied you to him? I am tired of hearing about these prophets that are all over the place talking nonsense. This one should be ashamed of himself. I am glad you realised that this one is a liar.

The problem you are having is with your so-called boyfriend and your own stupidity in believing that you should remain with him whether he is treating you right or not. For your own sanity, I would say to you, leave this guy. You are fooling yourself in believing that this man loves you and wants to be with you. What he wants is what you are capable of giving to him anytime he wants it.


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