My boyfriend doesn't love me anymore


July 04, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I have being reading your column for a long time. I have now decided to write to you. I am an 18-year-old young lady, and I am living with my boyfriend part-time. He is 30 years old. I love him, but now I am not sure that he loves me.

The first time being around him was great, no lie about that; then I realised everything has changed. Most times, I wonder if I am the issue. Is it that he is just tired of me? He is a nice guy, though. Or maybe he is using me. I am pretty young, but we have been together for a long time now. He doesn't assist me financially. The reason he doesn't is because I am independent and on my own. But as I said before I am worried that he is tired of me already, or maybe he is cheating on me. I have asked him many times, but he just ignored me. Please tell me what to do.

J. C.

Dear J. C.,

This 30-year-old man should treat you well. Although he is living with you, he is not treating you as someone who is special to him. You are fooling yourself by thinking that you are independent. If you were independent, you wouldn't have to live with him. You would be on your own and paying your own rent. This part-time thing you are talking about is foolishness. And if you are his woman, you shouldn't have to ask him for anything. He should give you help on his own volition.

Perhaps this man will like to shake you off, so to speak. However, he doesn't want to tell you to go. He'll tolerate you until you see that you are wasting your time with him. It might take you a long time, but it will happen if you stick around. The reason why you cannot feel his love is because he has no love for you.

I suggest, therefore, that you leave this man and that you do so now. You do not have to tell him that you want to leave him; if you were to tell him, he will discourage you and promise you silver and gold. But at 18, you know that you are wasting precious time with this man. You should try your best to go back to school. May the Good Lord direct you. I'll be praying for you.


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