My babyfather is a mama's boy


July 05, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I hope all is well. I read your column almost every day. I love the advice you give. I am confused and stressed. I hope you will give me your fatherly advice.

I was in a relationship, for almost four years, in which I gave birth to a child. At the beginning, all was well. We usually go almost everywhere together, on the north coast, to have fun, movies, beaches, parties, you name it, my partner took me. At that time, he wasn't working, I was and would be the one spending, but that did not trouble me, sometimes the female has to spend too.

Eventually he got a job with the government. I didn't approve of it, but jobs are hard to get, so I encouraged him to go ahead.

Everything was okay until I found out I was pregnant. About a year later, he introduced me to his mother. His mother is okay but my biggest problem is that she rules her son and makes all decisions for him. Whenever we sit down as adults and plan, he goes to his mother and tells her what we had discussed and they make different plans.

I spoke to him, many times, about it, but nothing changed, so I stopped talking and caring about the relationship. I turned my mind from him, completely, and found out he was cheating. We argued about it and he told me the girl and him were not together.

He was only blowing off steam. It happens that I am not working and have my son to take care of, so I bear with his cheating and lying. I applied for jobs at many different hotels, but have not been successful.

His friend got me a job and I went on training. I had to stay at his place to go to work. While on training, I met a guy. He's a nice person, but thin-skinned. He gets upset about everything.

He treats me like a child. He man is mean. He wants me to ask him for everything, but I don't do that.

Pastor, my problem is I can't seem to trust this man. I don't believe what he says.

I can't get a job, no matter how I try. I wish you could help me get a job. I have four CXCs and a HEART certificate. I await your response


Dear D.P.,

It is very difficult for me to determine what is really happening to you. You have given the impression that you have left your child's father and are having an intimate relationship with another man, but this man is mean.

It seems to me that the major problem with your child's father is that you think he is too close to his mother and you believe she controls him.

I, therefore, recommend that you call a family counsellor and make an appointment.

I pray to God that you will get a job. Life would be so much easier for you.


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