My boyfriend got married while I was pregnant

by

July 08, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 40 years old and I have three children. Their father got married to another woman when I was pregnant with the third child.

I almost took my life when I heard he got married. The woman came to Jamaica from America and got married to him.

He did not tell me that he had a girlfriend in America. After I found out about the wedding, I cried. Friends and relatives had to help me overcome the shock.

It is now five years since this man did that to me. He went away and now he is trying to get back to me. He and his wife are not getting along. One plus about him is that he has always supported his children, but I do not love him anymore.

My father hates him like poison. When he got married to the woman, it was my father who had to spend money on me so I could get better.

It took me three years before I was able to have sex with another man. This man was twice my age. We are still friends and he is still supporting me. He could never marry me because he is married.

I asked my children's father why his wife and himself are not getting along these days. He said he never loved her, he was only trying to better his life and the life of his children.

If he wanted to better his life and the life of his children, why did he not tell me that the woman was coming to Jamaica to marry him?

My children are doing well. When he left me, he left me in a rented house. I had to go back home. But I am on my own again because I got a job through my boyfriend.

I want the children to know their father so I am not planning to stop them from going out with him when he comes back to Jamaica.

He cannot come to my house because it is my man who is paying the rent for where I am living.

Do you think I should try to make up with him? I am depending on you for your advice.

V.R.

Dear V.R.,

I could not encourage you to become intimate with your children's father again. You don't love him anymore. He has not treated you with respect. He lied and deceived you.

You have suffered emotionally, physically and psychologically. You were abused.

Only a cruel man would go out and marry another woman while he had another woman pregnant.

Only women who have suffered a similar fate would understand what you have gone through. You would be making a big mistake to allow this man to come back into your life.

He doesn't deserve you. He is a very wicked man.

Concerning your present lover, remember he is married. He will not leave his wife and marry you, so bear that in mind.

I am glad that you are employed. Try your best to save your money, so that you would be in a position to purchase your own home.

You have the right attitude. When the children's father comes to Jamaica, allow them to spend time with him, but remember, he should not be trusted.

You have to watch him because you do not know what he might do with these children.

Pastor

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