My daughter's husband is a worthless man


July 08, 2016

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you. I am a husband and a father. I have two sons and three daughters.

My sons are not married, but my daughters are. One of them is living at my house with her husband. The boy is so lazy. My daughter gets up and makes breakfast for me. She gives him breakfast too, and he goes right back to bed.

Sometimes it burns me when I see how hard my daughter has to work and this big man lies down in bed in my house. Because he knows that I am against that type of life, he avoids me.

I don't charge my daughter for living here. The plan was for her to go abroad. She has her degree, but she carelessly let this man got her pregnant and she did not want to have a child and not married, but she lost the baby and he lost his job. So I gave them permission to live at my home, but it was a big mistake I made.

He has not been working and he is not looking hard enough for work. I love my children. The boys have their girlfriends, so they are not always here, they come and go, but we are a close-knit family. One of my sons does not like him at all, but because of his sister, he talks to him.

Every job offer this man gets, he turns it down. I overheard my daughter quarrelling with him and telling him that she is going to leave him. I tip- toed and put my ear by their room door and was listening.

She had a boyfriend and that man still loves her. My children told me that I should keep out of their business. The children treat me well. I have no complaints about them, but when I see this big man lying in my house every day and not working, my heart is heavy.

Imagine, this man told my daughter that I am not sick, so I can make my own breakfast in the morning. He does not want her to make me breakfast, but she can make him breakfast and he can live in my house for free.

He has his people in Manchester. If he loses respect for me, I am going to give him notice.


Dear L.K.,

I think I understand what you are trying to say. You have a very silly son-in-law. He does not like you because you have probably expressed your disgust over his attitude towards work.

The man is a bum. Your daughter is working hard. She believes that she has a duty of making breakfast for you before she goes to work. It is her way of taking care of her dad. After all, she is making breakfast for her lazy, no-good husband. What is wrong if she makes breakfast for you also?

I know that it is because of your daughter why you are allowing this man to live in your house. And although it is painful for you to see the way he behaves, I must say to you, do not do anything to disturb the relationship she is having with her husband. As the Jamaican proverbs say, 'Time longa dan rope'. Be patient. Your daughter is already coming to realise that this man is a user. And unless there is radical change in him, the relationship isn't going to work. So don't push for her to leave him. It might happen sooner than you think.


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