I'm attracted to much older men


August 02, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column, which deals with relationship, marriage, and divorce. I am a 19-year-old girl and I started having sex when I was 15 years old.

My mom never had the money to fully support me to go to school, so I started having sex with men. I don't like talking to guys my age. I prefer men between the ages of 30 and 50. I don't know why.

My relationships never last. It's not that I am not good-looking or intelligent and I don't have any subjects.

I have eight CXC subjects and I am currently attending HEART training centre to get a skill. I just need to know when I meet a man, how to know that he is the right man for me.

Are these men that I have had relations with too old for me? Or is it that I don't know what I want? Please help me.


Dear Confused,

I am very happy to hear that you are attending HEART and I wish you well. I hope that you will put your heart into your schoolwork and that it will not be long before you graduate and get a good job and support yourself. You wouldn't have to depend on men to fully support you.

I will not condemn you for the relationships you have had with these guys who are much older than you. I know some people would accuse me of engaging in situation ethics. I am just trying to say that condemning you would not solve the problem you are having.

You have never really experienced love, and clearly, these men who have been with you never really loved you. They wanted your body. It was a matter of sex for money but not prostitution in the true sense of the word.

You prefer much older men than your age and that is not unusual. When you meet a man who cares for you and is not just demanding sex, you will see the difference. He will stick with you and not only love you, but protect you. You will know when you meet him.

You must pray about your future and the Good Lord will help you.


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