My wife confessed that the child is not mine

by

August 16, 2016

Dear Pastor,

Pleasant greetings to you and your staff. I am a born Portlander, but I am living in St Catherine because I got married to a girl who got pregnant for me.

I always told myself that the first girl who gets pregnant for me, I would marry her.

So I met this girl and we were getting along fine and she told me she was pregnant. But I didn't ask any question; I married her when she was four months pregnant.

My relatives asked me why I was in such a rush and I told them I did not want my child to be born outside of wedlock.

When the child started to grow up, he had nothing for me. Everybody told me that. My wife would swear on the Bible that she did not have sex with any other man.

Recently, she started to go to church. She went up to the altar and told me after that the child is not mine, but she thought it was mine.

She had sex with a man soon after she had her period and she did not know that he could have got her pregnant.

I have forgiven her. I asked her how many people knows about it and she said that she has never discussed it with anybody; it is just that people see that the child does not look like me.

At first when she told me, I was angry and thought of leaving her, but now I have forgiven her. The real father of the child is not even in Jamaica and she is not in touch with him. That is what she said and I believe her.

She hasn't had another child. She can't tell me why she fooled me. She said that she did not fool me, she only lied.

I feel that I have married the wrong woman because I was not the one who got her pregnant and I wanted to marry the first woman who got pregnant for me.

I have never cheated, but since she told me the truth that I am not the little boy's father, I have been tempted to cheat. The temptation is very strong. I am not asking her to leave. Give me your advice.

M.C.

Dear M.C.,

I would not encourage you to cheat on your wife. I must commend you for staying with your wife since you have found out that you are not the biological father of her son.

She lied to you about not having sex with another man. She knew that you were not the biological father of this child. You can forgive her on the grounds that she really believed that you were the father.

The question is, when did she find out that you were not the father. Did she quietly do a DNA test?

Perhaps she did. So I must ask you the question: Now that you know that the child is not yours, doesn't it make a difference how you see that child? Are you going to love the child or your wife less?

I would suggest that you continue to pour out your love on this child and that you forgive your wife wholeheartedly.

As far as you know, she has not been with another man since both of you have got married. Don't destroy your marriage by cheating, because what you might be trying to prove is that you are capable of impregnating a woman, but that may ruin your marriage.

So forgive her, because she might have genuinely believed that she couldn't have got pregnant by having sex with this man as she had just finished seeing her period.

Pastor

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