My helper is jealous of my lady friend


August 17, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I would like you to tell me what to do. I am a man in my 70s. I have been reading your column and listening to you on the radio.

I am a widower. I lost my wife five years ago, but I believe that I have fallen in love again.

I have seven children. They are all abroad. I was living abroad, too, but I came home. I am active in my church; I am even learning how to preach.

Sometimes I get lonely, and this is the main reason I am writing you. The lady that I have fallen in love with is 63 years old. She has never been married, but she has three children.

I approached her and told her that I have been admiring her and she admitted that she has been admiring me, too.

We live five miles from each other. I have someone who comes to clean and wash twice a week. She is living with her man.

Since my lady friend has been coming around, this lady has started to show interest in me. I don't like her that way.


One day I told her to iron a shirt for me because I was going out and I wanted to wear that shirt. She asked me where I was going and I told her that I was going out with my lady friend.

She did not iron the shirt, so I did it myself and told her not to come back to work. She thought I was joking, but I meant it. She came back and asked for my forgiveness, and I told her that my love life is my business.

She wanted to know why Ichose that woman and why I never showed interest in her since she has been working with me.

The matter did not end there, Pastor. She told my lady friend that I am not a good man because I asked her for sex, so she shouldn't trust me. I have never asked this woman to have sex with me.

My lady friend did not believe me, so she went back to her. I told her that I am going to fire her and she said no, I should let her work.

She is a good worker. She keeps my place clean and she is always appropriately dressed. But I cannot have this lying woman around me. I have no interest in her flesh. She is not of my standard.

My lady friend said that if I fire her, I may not get somebody who works as well as her. She believed by that lying she would run away my lady friend and she will get me, but that didn't work.

The only problem I am having with my lady friend is that she has always been independent.

For years, she has worked for the Government. She lived with her children for a long time and she has helped her nieces and nephews to go to school. Some of them lived with her. Everybody is now on their own.


I want your advice. Do you think that this lady who has never been married can adjust to married life? She says she can. She is a little prudish. I have broken down that wall. Give me your opinion.


Dear T.W.,

Your lady friend told you not to fire the lady who takes care of your house, but I would suggest that you do.

She is a dangerous woman. She should not be trusted. I could forgive her for expressing that she was admiring you and thought you would have express your desire for her.

But to blatantly lie on you is to show you that she is not honest and trustworthy. Let her go, because you do not know what bigger lies she may tell on you and may cause you to be arrested.

Concerning your lady friend, you say that she has never been married and you do not know whether she would be able to adjust to married life.

I believe that she will do just fine. She may try to be controlling and stubborn, but that is how women her age are, especially if they were never married.

You have seven children. Let them know that you are in love again. Some may encourage you and some may discourage you, but the decision is yours.


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