My husband wants sex every night


August 18, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 22 years old. I will be 23 in December. My husband is 38 years old. I got married in April of this year and my husband has sex with me every night.

Sometimes when I am seeing my period he wants me to have sex with him. When I complain, he says that the main reason he married me is to have sex and nothing else.

I asked my husband if he didn't love me when he married me and he said yes, but he loves other girls just the same. He chose me because I am more attractive than the other girls.

Pastor, is sex the only reason a man gets married?

Sometimes I have to pretend as if I am sick, especially when I am seeing my period, to get my husband to leave me alone. I am not short on anything. What can I do?

Sometimes I wish that he would eat less. He has so much energy for a big man and he drinks a lot of roots. Some girls are not getting enough; I am getting more than enough.

Sometimes I am afraid to go into bed because I know what is waiting on me.


Dear R.D.,

When this man was courting you, did he give you the impression that he loved you? Did you tell him you loved him?

He has declared to you recently that his purpose of marrying you is to have sex. He did not marry you because he loves you. I am sure that you expected to have sex with him, but you find it very difficult to cope because he wants sex every night, even when you are seeing your menses.

Sex is for procreation and it is also for pleasure within the bonds of marriage. Evidently, he is not interested in getting you pregnant. What he is interested in is sexual intercourse as often as he can get it from you.

It is unfortunate that he does not exercise self-control at all. He sees you as somebody who is wicked to deny him sex. Both of you have been married from Easter this year and he has not yet got tired of having sex with you every day. When would he get tired?

You cannot always pretend that you are ill, he would know if you're lying. When he told you that he got married for sex, he is probably sending you a message that if you refuse to have sex with him he will find another woman who would be willing to do so.

So my suggestion is that both of you go to see a family counsellor and reason together and see what compromise can be reached.


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