I can't leave my taxi-driver lover


August 23, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 16 years old and I am in love with a man who is 29 years old. We have been friends for a year and seven months. He is my best friend.

He told me that he doesn't have any other girlfriend and if I behaved myself, when I turn 21, he will marry me.

He drives a taxi for a living. When I met him I didn't even have proper underwear. He took me to a store and told me to buy whatever I wanted. I bought six panties, two jeans, and a shorts. He paid for all of them.

He doesn't give me a lot of money, but he buys whatever I want.

Sometimes I wonder what he sees in me because he has his babymother, and he is living with her. He says that she is lazy, so he wants her to leave.

I am still attending school. I look much bigger than my age. My mother does not question me. I have a sister who is 18 and she has a child. Her babyfather doesn't treat her well.

This is my first boyfriend. When he wants to have sex with me, he takes me to his mother's house. His sister lives with his mother. She doesn't say anything to me. I just tell her morning or evening when he takes me there. I don't know his mother.

I can't leave him because I need the help and I love him. I am planning to go and live with him when his babymother leaves.


Dear M.R.,

If you are not careful, this man will get you pregnant and you will become one of his babymothers.

He told you that he was living with a woman and that she had a child by him. That should have been enough for you to tell him that you could not have a relationship with him, but you swallowed the lies he told you about wanting to get rid of his babymother.

Men lie to girls all the time when they want to have an intimate relationships with them. This man takes you to his mother's house when he wants to have sex with you. His sister is not going to say anything to you because that is his regular practice. It is not her business.

I wish it were possible for me to open your understanding so that you would see that this man is using you.

You did not say whether he uses a condom when he has sex with you. I hope he does because you might be at risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections.

Remember, you are not the only woman with whom he is having sex. I know you are poor and you are grateful for what he does for you, but this is not a good relationship.

Try your best to do well in school and then go to HEART and get training in whatever field you like. That would put you in a position to get a good job.

I have to tell you that I don't believe that the relationship that you are having is healthy and I would urge you to put an end to it.


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