Ex-wife won't let me see my child!
I'm having a problem. I listen your radio show and read your articles very often and find them to be very interesting. My wife moved out and left me nearly one year ago and is currently pregnant for her co-worker. I wasn't working for nearly one year and during that time, I stayed home to care for our two-year-old son. I washed, cooked and cleaned. I did everything for my wife just to keep her happy, though I wasn't working.
She started coming in late at nights and when I questioned her, it always led to disagreements, until she finally decided to move out and leave me on the cold floor. This man who got her pregnant is also married and has children. He has moved out of his home and now living with my wife.
I haven't seen my son in nearly a year and it's so frustrating. I trusted her, I gave her my heart and soul and she threw it away. This man is also well known to me. In fact, I used to 'big him up' for taking her to and from work, but I never knew they would be sleeping with each other.
I have been going back to church now and I have forgiven them, but I just need to see my son. What should I do? Should I take her to court or should I just let her conscience deal with her?
I am glad that you have returned to church. I believe that you genuinely loved your wife and while you were not working, you took care of the home. You trusted her. You didn't expect her to cheat. She didn't respect you. Perhaps she got involved with this man because you were broke, and down on your face, so to speak, and she needed money. This man was in a position to give her money.
God is able to help you keep your sanity. You say that you have forgiven her for what she did to you. Very few men would accept what this woman did and allow her to go. But you are a wise man. You know it is better for her to go and not do anything stupid that may cause you to get into trouble with the law.
The man who got her pregnant will never fully trust her because he knows that just as how she cheated on you with him, she may cheat on him also with another man. Right now, she may feel that she has hurt you, and indeed she has, but by the grace of God you can overcome the hurt.
Concerning your son, you should take her to court. Tell the magistrate the truth and nothing but the truth. You may not want custody of the child because you are not working. However, You should seek, visitation rights. You are entitled to see your son as often as the judge may determine. Have clearly in your mind how often you may want to see him - every weekend or every other weekend and tell that to the judge. Don't allow anybody to tell you not to take the matter to court. You should do so because your son needs you, and you need to bond with him. I will be praying for you. Please let me hear from you again.