I am dating an illiterate man


September 01, 2016

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you in the name of God! I am 18 years old and my boyfriend is 25.

Anyway, I don't even know where to start. I am currently training at HEART NTA, where I get a stipend every month end. I live in St Ann and my boyfriend lives in Portland. Most Saturdays I would go and visit him, and when the day ends, my fare is handed to me.

One day I told him he can do much better. However, I am not saying because I'm his girlfriend I should be begging him for money. We have sex, so the least he should do is show some regard, and if I should come up short and need a little money to make up what I have, he should give it to me. I am a very independent girl. I don't depend on a man for survival, but I need some help sometimes.

Whenever I call him he is always broke. He even laughs when he is admitting it. He works on a construction site now and then. He has no subjects or qualifications. I go the extra mile for him. He goes over the edge for me with the little he can do. We have been together for four years now, so you can figure out that there is some good chemistry going on between us. I met his family early in May at a family reunion, and they seem to like me. Even his sisters, niece and I text each other on a regular basis. His uncle told me that he is everyone's favourite because of his personality, and that's without question.


Another thing before I go. Whenever my associates talk about their partners, I have to be making up some lies about mine. He is so ancient in a modern society. Can you believe that I asked him if he knew Kool Runnings attraction and he said no? One day we went to KFC and he asked me to order a patty for him. I was kind of shocked. I had to explain to him, (which I shouldn't have had to do) because every sensible human being should know that KFC sells chicken and not patties.

Also, his family seems to confide in me. His mother, however, resides overseas. But will my family return the favour? I am thinking of cheating on him or cut out my Saturday visits to get him out of his comfort zone. What do you recommend?


Dear D.A.,

Your boyfriend is backward. You are a good girl. You are way ahead of him. I repeat. You are a good girl, and it is because you are a good girl why you stayed with this illiterate man for so long. How could a man go to KFC and ask you to order a patty for him? He is dumb. Old folks from rural Jamaica would describe him as 'dark'.

This young man does not know how to treat a woman. You are travelling so far to see him and he does not even have the intelligence to put something tangible in an envelope to give to you when you are leaving to go home. Am I to understand that he is mean or he doesn't know better? Perhaps both are true. You cannot marry a man like that. What you should do now is encourage him to go back to school. He will be a burden to you. A big burden too.

I know you are tempted to cheat on him. I can't encourage you to do so. What I would encourage you to do is drop him like hot bread. Before you do, however, tell him why you are ending the relationship with him. Don't go back to see him.


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