My wife shows no interest in me


September 07, 2016

Dear Pastor

I am having some problems and I hope that you can help me. I am 28 years old and five years ago I had a child with a girl who was engaged to get married.

That caused her relationship with the guy to break up because she admitted that both of us had sex.

I could not live in peace in the community because the parents of the guy who was going to marry her told everybody that the child that she was carrying did not belong to the guy.

He and I went to the same school and we were good friends. It was just a mistake that I made. I could not believe that she got pregnant when she told me.

This might sound bad, but, Pastor, as I pushed my penis into her, I discharged, but I continued to hug her and I told her I was sorry.


When she missed her period, her boyfriend was in Cayman and he was coming to marry her. She told me that she talked to her mother about the problem and her mother told her that she should not think of an abortion, but she should try and get me to marry her.

I agreed to marry her. I loved her, so when she was five months pregnant we got married. But, Pastor, the way she is behaving now tells me that she does not love me.

Her heart is still on her ex- boyfriend. I found out also that they are communicating. I was not working for three months and this guy was sending her money.

I saw the receipts from the money-transfer place. She said that the money was sent to her mother.


She does not seem to care how I feel. I have been true to her. When I ask her if she loves me, she says that the love is not deep, but she has feelings for me.

She wants to live abroad. She is trying to get a work permit to work in Cayman, so you know what that means, Pastor. That tells me that she wants to be where the guy is.

I don't know what to do. Please give me your advice.


Dear L.B.,

I have to tell you the truth. Prepare for the worst. This relationship will not work. Your wife does not love you.

Both of you misbehaved while she was engaged and she got pregnant. Although both of you decided to get married, this woman was not deeply in love with you. She got married for convenience.

Your wife would do anything to get out of this marriage. Therefore, I would not encourage you to try to save this marriage. She is going to cheat on you because she does not love you. If she has not been doing so, she is making her plans to do so.

Right now, her heart is in Cayman. Don't think she wants to go to Cayman to just work. She wants to go there because her first love is working there. And they are hoping to get back together.

Sometimes couples try to hold a relationship together by trying to buy love, so they go to the extreme by spending unnecessary money to win over the love of a partner whose desire is to leave. I hope you do not try to do so.

I am not condemning either of you for what happened, I am just saying that if this woman wants to go, let her go in peace. Talk to a lawyer.


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