He wants to break up because I injured his penis


September 23, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am 18 years old and I have a boyfriend who is 25 years old. He and I have been friends since I was 16 years old.

Last year January, I went to live with him. He said if I didn't come to live with him, he would get another girl because he was tired of living alone and he could not support me and another girl at the same time.

He wants sex, so my mother told me that I should go and live with him, and to ensure that he doesn't get me pregnant.

He has a babymother, but they are not living together. He supports his child, and sometimes, the child spends weekends with him, and he takes him back to his mother early Monday morning before he goes to work.

Since May, my boyfriend and I have not been getting along well. He hit me because I did something he did not like.

I told him that he shouldn't hit me but talk to me. He did it again and we started to fight. I grabbed his penis and testicles and pulled them and he cried out.

Since that time, he said he has feeling pain down there. I told him that I am sorry, but he told me I should pack my things and go.

I told him I cannot leave him in this condition of pain. He does not believe that I love him because of what I did. He said that his penis is the greatest part of his body, and any woman who will hit a man there or pulls his testicles and his penis cannot be trusted.

He told me it must be because I have another boyfriend. I swear I did not mean to hurt him, I just wanted him to stop beating me up.

eyes on marriage

I cannot live without my boyfriend. I would like him to get better and for us to get married in two years' time.

I used to play with the head of his penis in bed, now he pushes away my hands. I don't know what to do.

When I went to live with him, his mother told me that he is her only son, so I should be faithful to him.

I have never cheated on him, but when he is upset, he says anything that comes to his mouth, and he loves to hit.

I don't want us to break up because I don't want to go back home.

Please, Pastor, give me a word of encouragement.


Dear F.S.,

I regret hearing that you aren't living harmoniously with your boyfriend. Both of you have physically abused each other.

You retaliated after your boyfriend hit you and a fight ensued. It is most unfortunate that you pulled his testicles and penis. That would make any man feel powerless.

On the other hand, a young woman has to know how to defend herself when she believes that a man is taking advantage of her.

This man is not going to forget what you did, but I hope that he will forgive you. I hope he has gone to see the doctor. That's what he should do if he is constantly feeling pain.

Now he knows that he should not mess with you. If this man is insisting that you leave and go back to your mother, tell him that you would love for the both of you to go to a family counsellor to discuss your problems.

Continue to take care of him, and I wish the both of you every success.


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