Finding it hard to leave my cheating man


October 07, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am now faced with a decision to make, and yet I know you cannot tell me what to do. I just really need some guidance.

My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 15 years old. Today we are both in our early 30s with two children.

He has cheated on me lots of times and I forgave him. Now, I have found out that he has got someone else pregnant.

When I asked him, he didn't deny it, but he said that it is a strong possibility. I told him it's over, but he is begging me not to leave him. However, I am tired of his ways.

Pastor, I don't know why it's so hard for me to leave him. Part of me is scared that I may end up with someone worse, and, at this age, all I am looking forward to doing is settle down.

Marriage has been in the pipeline for us, but we couldn't afford it until now, as we both have steady jobs and things are finally going well with us.

After all our struggles and hardships, we can get married, but that's out of the question now. I am wondering if the grass is greener on the other side.

The way the world is these days, you can't trust anyone and, especially that my daughter is a teenager, I don't want to be going from man to man; and I don't have time to be dating between my jobs and taking care of my kids.


Dear Overwhelmed,

This man is a regular cheater and you were aware of it for a long time. You haven't indicated as to whether the both of you have sought professional help.

Although you knew he is a cheater, you are willing to marry him; both of you have two children together.


What is really hurting you now is the fact that he has impregnated another woman. You believe he has gone too far by getting this woman pregnant.

I understand your concerns, but you are inconsistent. It is either you are going to seek professional help and to see whether this man would be willing to give up his girls or you are going to remain with him and put your life at risk.

Of course, your life has always been at risk. Anyone who has a partner who is having unprotected sex with other persons puts his life and his partner's life in jeopardy.

Your daughter is indeed a concern to you. Either you leave this man and live on your own with your children or you insist that whenever you are having sex with him, he uses a condom.

I can tell you that the latter is not practical. So I urge you to talk to him and try to get him to go with you to see a family counsellor.


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