My man's sister makes me stay away from him


October 18, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I was reading your column for the first time a few weeks ago. I was staying at the home of a friend and I saw THE STAR and opened it to your column. I enjoyed reading it and it caused me to write to you.

I am 19 years old and I went to spend a night with my boyfriend. He is in his late 20s. After we had sex, I fell asleep and my period came, messing up the sheets.

He had to take me to catch the bus early in the morning and he told his sister what happened to me, so she should take care of the sheets for him.

His sister told people that I am nasty and she doesn't know what her brother is doing with me because I messed up the sheets and went away.

It was nothing like that. I had no control over what happened to me and if I was staying longer there, I would have washed the sheets myself.

I feel so ashamed of what happened. Her brother told her that she is a woman, too, and she shouldn't have said those things about me because I am not a worthless or careless girl.

Pastor, my period came early. I did not even feel when it was coming. I am so ashamed. My boyfriend wants me to come back and visit him, but his sister doesn't want me to come there and she wants her brother to be with her friend.

Every time I think about what happened and what his sister said about me, I feel so bad about it.

She is his eldest sister and he is supporting her because she has children and she can't find their fathers. Keep up the good work.


Dear L.K.,

Allow your boyfriend to deal with his sister on this unfortunate matter. What has happened to you has happened to numerous women. I supposed it could be very embarrassing, but you did not have any control over the situation.

I am sure your boyfriend did not know that his sister would make dispiriting remarks about you. Cheer up.

Although she is encouraging your boyfriend to go with another girl, the decision is really his.

Don't allow that to bother you. Please do not say anything negative about her to your boyfriend. Remember they are siblings and 'blood is thicker than water'.


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