My girlfriend was cheating with her church brother


October 19, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I have a problem and I am not sure, how to deal with it. I was living with a woman for seven years. We have two little boys.

This woman told me that she wants us to get married because she wanted to go into her church. I had already made up my mind to get married; it was not because I wanted to go into the church.

I wanted to live a decent life because I had another girlfriend and I used to have a relationship with her because her man was working abroad. People told him that his woman had another man.

One person even gave him my correct name and where I was working. When he was home, he found me and told me that I didn't have to admit anything to him, but if I am fooling around with his woman, I should be prepared to be wasted.

So the woman and I decided we would stop our relationship, but we didn't totally stop. We just didn't do it as often. I stopped going to his house. I decided I would get married to my children's mother, but I found out that my children's mother was not as faithful to me as I thought.

She had a man who was in the church; he is a widower. So she was hoping that I would not agree to marry her so she could marry the man.


When I told her that we should plan our wedding date and she should set a time with the pastor for us to meet with him, she came back and said that the pastor told her that she shouldn't marry me because I am not a Christian and Christians should not marry non-Christians.

I asked her if she would throw away all the years we have been together, she said that we can still be good friends, but we can't get married.

One day I went home and she was gone. When I found out where she was, she told me I should not fret because she is going to marry a Christian man. That is the man whose wife died.

Tell me, Pastor, is it right for a pastor to refuse a man who has children with a member of his church?

E. D.

Dear E.D.,

It is unfortunate that this woman and you broke up. You took too long to propose to her and another man edged you out.

This woman sees a brighter future with the widower; therefore, you need to leave her alone and stop blaming her pastor.

You were playing around and now you will suffer as a result. However, this woman is not as good as you thought she was. So let this other man have her. You have not lost much.

I wish you well and I hope that you will find another woman.


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