Our families won't accept our relationship


October 19, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am a 23-year-old who is dating a 48-year-old man. We have been together for three years.

This man has never disrespected me in anyway; even when we are having our disagreements. He is very kind and loving.

The issue I'm having is with our families. My family thinks that he is too old for me and they are always showing him bad face. His family thinks I'm too young (digging for gold).

He proposed and I accepted because we love each other and want to move on with our lives and start a family of our own.

However, I'm hesitant because I want both sides of our families to accept us and bond with us. It's just pure frustration. I love him and I love my family too.

What should I do?


Dear T.L.,

I wish your parents and this man's parents would just play the role of counsellors and show your boyfriend and you the advantages and disadvantages that both of you are likely to encounter if both of you should get married.

Trying to discourage both of you from getting married does not make sense. If this man and you are genuinely in love, nothing they say will prevent you from doing what you want to do.

You haven't said anything about your education. If you have not yet had your first degree, your parents might be concerned about that. It is always better for young women to get an education before she gets married. You should try and complete your undergrad work or have a skill before you get married. I am not saying that you have to, I am just trying to say that it is advisable.

This man is not going to leave you just because your parents believe that he is too old. And you know that you would be very reluctant in ending the relationship with him because your parents think that you should do so.

May I suggest that both of you make an appointment to see a family counsellor as soon as possible. I will be praying for you. May God lead you as you try to make the right decision.


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