I have to let my man know when I am visiting


October 22, 2016

Dear Pastor

I am in love with a man, but I am not living with him. I am having a hard time with him because he is living alone, but whenever I am going to see him, I have to give him notice. I cannot go there to surprise him. He lives in a gated community.

I went there to give him a surprise, and when I got to the gate, the guards told me that I could not go in. He has to call and ask him if he should let me in.

To my surprise, he told the guard that he was not expecting me, so he should not let me in. I asked the guard if he had a woman there. He said he didn't know, and he cannot answer that question.

I waited at the gate and the guard even put question to me, so I left. I felt stressed. It was a good thing that I had walked with my fare.

I called this man on his cell and he did not answer me. When he finally answered, I asked him why I could not see him, and he reminded me that I should not come and surprise him at his house. Then he asked me to come at a certain time, and I told him he would have to come for me because he shamed me, and two of the guards were saying he should not have treated me that way.

It must be that this man has another woman or different women visiting him why he doesn't want me to visit him without informing him.

Do you think I should leave him? Sometimes he helps me out with money. I have another man who likes me but I was keeping away from him because of this man. I think I am going to give him a chance in my life. I was not interested in him because he is divorced, but this embarrassment I cannot take.


Dear S.A.,

You have got the message. This man either had another woman there with him or he was expecting one.

If you were his only woman, it wouldn't bother him if you were visiting him without notifying him that you were coming.

He didn't want you to come, so from the very time the both of you became friends, he told you not to come to his house without letting him know.

I can understand how embarrassed you were, but you now understand that you cannot trust this man and it is better for you to end the relationship with him.

Perhaps you should indeed consider the other gentleman who has shown interest in you. You should consider dating him. Before you do, however, tell the man who lives in the gated community that you are not interested in him anymore.


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