My wife changed after we got married


October 25, 2016

Dear Pastor,

How are you doing? I am a very big fan of your column and the work you put online and in THE STAR. I have a problem I would like to share with you, and I would like your advice.

I live with my wife and for some reason, I'm starting to feel unhappy. When we were just a regular couple, everything was OK until we got married; she has totally changed.

We don't talk anymore like we used to, because all she does is complain about being tired at work. When she gets home, she is on her phone until she has her bath and goes to bed.

We don't go out unless she feels like doing so and she is in the mood. And it is the same when it comes to sex. When I complain, she says that I am vex because of 'front'. And her vibe is totally different.

Anything that happens between us, mom knows and my wife makes me feels like she doesn't appreciate anything I do unless it suits her.

She doesn't clean the house because she says she does a nine-to-five shift and has to come home and clean the house and I am home, so I should do it.

I'm wondering what to do because at the moment we are at odds, but I keep to myself because she made a mistake by telling me everything she does is in her self-interest, and no tree is growing in her face.

I don't believe in divorce, but for some reason I'm planning to leave and let her go her own way.


Dear D.V.,

Unfortunately, your wife is sending you a clear message and that message is, she is tired of this relationship and she doesn't care how you feel.

If you want to fuss, you can do so as much as you want, it would not change her at all. She has lost interest in the relationship.

When a woman tells a man that tree is not growing in her face, she is telling him that she can get another man. This woman is disrespectful.

You don't mean much to her anymore. She doesn't care about you anymore. She is living her own life and you can do whatever you wish.

I suggest that you tell her that you would like the both of you to go to a family counsellor to see whether your differences can be resolved. If she refuses to go, you should consult a lawyer. I hope she would agree.

I wish you well, sir, and I pray that God will grant you wisdom as you deal with this matter.


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