Should I leave my babyfather?


November 04, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I enjoy reading your column. A friend of mine wrote to you recently, and she encouraged me to do so as well.

I am in my early 20s and am living with my child's father. He is in his late 30s and my daughter just turned one.

My problem is, Pastor, I am confused and fed up of my relationship with this man. He is too known. He is an entertainer of a popular dance group.

Pastor, I am living a toxic and unhealthy life with him. I believe he is a womaniser. He feels he has to be friendly with every girl, and he uses his job as an excuse to do so. He likes to flirt and call everyone his fans, but he doesn't have any assets.

He wasted all his life earnings on clothes, parties and women when his career had just taken off. I met him with nothing. We've been through so much together, and no matter the situation, I still stayed with him and all he does is wrong. He claims he loves me but I'm too jealous. Which woman would not want her man to come home at nights?

He is always on the streets with friends and you must not say anything to him. I don't trust him. I even have to be searching his phone and I always see girls texting him.


He loves to talk to his ex-girlfriends. The one he had before we met is overseas. I couldn't believe he was still communicating with her as if they are still having an affair.

I took her number and confronted her and some other ones he secretly continues to text when he is not beside me.

He curses me for them and says that I should not argue with any of them and how much he will always keep talking to girls and attending parties as he wishes.

I feel he is cheating on me but I don't have much proof. Pastor, I have not always been good, but when I got pregnant for him, I stopped living a wild life.

It's been over a year that we have been living together, and I am still not seeing any progress with him.

Whenever I ask him about getting married, he gives me the silly answer that marriage destroys relationships, so right now, all he does is gets me upset, which now leads to domestic violence between us, and my child sees everything.

Should I continue with him for the sake of or child or leave him?


Dear C.C.,

I cannot encourage you to continue to have an intimate relationship with this man. You know what you are facing, and you know that there is no future with this man. He is clearly not a family man. He does not respect you, and he believes he can do anything and you cannot stop him.

You might not be able to leave this man immediately, but you should put your plans in place, and as soon as it is possible, leave him.

He does not respect you and he will not change. He is an irresponsible man. Ensure that you protect yourself. Do not allow him to get you pregnant again.

You do not have to tell him that you are leaving him, but put your plans in place. He is clearly not the man for you. Don't waste your youth hanging around with this irresponsible man.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories