Babymother upset that I asked for a DNA test
I am just 33 years old and I have one child with a girl. But my people say that the child has nothing for me, so I should do a DNA test. I have been supporting this child since she was in her mother's belly. I didn't have any reason to doubt the mother when she told me that I had gotten her pregnant, because I didn't know her to have another man. She is 30 years old. We were not living together, but I used to go there and sleep whenever I had my night off. I work as a security guard. I gave her most of my money, especially when she was pregnant. She has two children that are not for me.
Since telling her that I want to get a DNA test done, she has changed. She asked me why I am calling her a liar. She said I can go my way and that she will fight to support her children. She has sisters who send her money all the time, and her parents, who live in New York, do the same.
Her mother was in Jamaica for a few days and my babymother told her that I wanted a DNA test. The mother said that the child has everything for me. I don't want to break up with her over this DNA thing. But pastor, I want to be sure that I am not supporting another man's child while believing that I am the father. Do you think I am stupid to ask for a DNA?
One night I was sleeping with my girlfriend and I wanted a little sex. So, I took out a condom from my bag and she asked me where I was going with that and how suddenly I am using the condom with her. I told her that I did not want to get her pregnant again. She put on her clothes and turned her back on me. I tried to undress her, but she would not allow me.
She used to give me breakfast whenever I sleep over with her, but that morning she got up and went outside to rake the yard. I went to the bathroom, had my shower, got dressed and left. During the day, I called her and told her that I was sorry. She repeated what she said before about the child and how she resembles me and has everything for me. I told her to forget doing the DNA and she said, "for real?". I told her, "yes," and told her to forget it. She said that I did not trust her.
Why should I trust her now and she was so much against the DNA? My folks asked me if I got it done, and I told them I did and everything is all right. One of my sisters said that she would have to hear from the doctor because she doesn't believe and she has her doubts. She said my babymother is a liar.
Dear O. P.,
You give the impression that you trust your child's mother. You said that you did not have any reason not to trust her. However, because your relatives have put doubts in your mind, I would suggest that you should insist doing the DNA test. It would give you peace of mind and silence your relatives.
I know that whenever a woman has a child and there are questions about whether or not he is the biological father, the man becomes very concerned and a thousand questions may go through his mind. No man wants to feel that he was tricked. So, although your girlfriend is very angry, she should not object to the DNA test.
So, I suggest, therefore, that you raise the matter with her again when she is in a good mood and assure her of your love and the respect that you have for her. But at the same time, tell her that a DNA test is necessary, not to only give you peace of mind, but to clear her name. If the DNA test proves that you are the biological father, no one can accuse her of being loose.