My boyfriend treats me like a queen


November 14, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am going to be 20 soon, and my boyfriend is 25. We have been together for almost two years. When I met him he was working two jobs. I love him because he is kind, caring, responsible, ambitious, a great problem solver and intelligent. He understands and has patience with me.

He makes sacrifices for me and would give me his last cent. Sometimes, when he does that I give him back some of the money. He is not working now but he is a jack of all trades, so he does handy work when someone calls him. My brothers talk to my boyfriend but I told him not to move too closely with them because they are hypocrites. I told him I don't care what they want to say because I will never be ungrateful and unappreciative towards him. We have been through much and I will always be with him no matter what.

He will be abroad soon on the farm work programme. He says he is going to marry me when he returns but I told him I don't want him to spend so much money on marriage right now, but I would love that. Pastor, he does not want me to do anything. When I am at home with him, it is as if I am a baby. I cook whenever he says it is my day to cook, but he ends up doing it. He wants me to live with him, but I told him that I am afraid of what my mother would say. I have not told my mother about him, but she assumes things and based on what she heard, she doesn't like him. He said that I should tell my mother about him and he wants to meet her so that she would know that he is not a bad person. But I am afraid and feel uncomfortable to introduce a man to my mother because I have never done that before and my mother and I don't have a close relationship.

He treats me like a queen and he makes me feel special but I told him he has spoiled me too much. I love to be around him and I can never get tired of him. My father is abroad. When I told him that I wanted to go back to school, he said that I should have passed all my subjects. When I get a job I am going to do a few more subjects.

Please pray for my boyfriend and me and give me your fatherly advice.

S. D.

Dear S. D.

I know for sure that you should go back to school. I am afraid that too many young women are too eager to get married too soon but it is always better if a girl gets an education before she says "I do". At least she should be in a position to work with her man to put food on the table.

I cannot tell you to leave this man. I believe he loves you. Some of your relatives may not love him, but you love him. And I would urge you to tell your mother about him. She might have heard negative things about him, but perhaps when he meets him and gets to know him, her attitude towards him may change. I wish both of you well and may the Good Lord bless you both.


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