Can't forgive my babyfather


November 21, 2016
@Normal:A roleplay of the sort of abuse suffered by Michael*: We would have an issue and then she would slap me and then walk away.

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular listener to your programme and I read THE STAR every day. I am 23 years old. When I was 18 I became pregnant, and the guy told my mother that he didn't get me pregnant. But he did not deny having sex with me.

He told her that the guy who got me pregnant is his friend. I never had sex with his friend. I did not even know this man he called his friend.

When I had the baby I called him and told him, but he never came to see me. The baby is now three years old. The baby resembles him.

I am working and I don't want to have anything to do with him. He is running after me, but I don't want him. He went to see my mother and told her that he was sorry and she should talk to me.

My mother is a Christian and she told me that I should forgive him. I asked my mother how could I forgive him when he lied on me and told her I had sex with his friend.

When my mother heard that I had sex with his friend, she quarrelled and said that I let her down because she always bragged about me. I told my mother that he was the only man I had sex with.


You see, Pastor, this boy used to be the praise leader in his church, so he could not let anybody know that he got me pregnant. So I asked him how is he now going to show up in church with the child. He said that the child doesn't have to come to his church.

My mother told me that if he wants to give me money, I should take it.

It is hard to forgive him. I am not a Christian and he is trying to tell me that he wants us to get married. I told him that I will get married to the invisible friend who got me pregnant, so he should bring him to me. When I was pregnant and I thought about all the lies, I could not concentrate or sleep. My father loves his grandson and when he comes home, he plays with him. He plays the role of father and grandfather.

I hate my child's father so much. Because of him, I don't even have a man in my life and I don't want any. I am working and going back to school.


Dear S.L.,

I suggest that you take the money this guy is offering to you to help to support his child. You don't have to be intimate with him; he is not a good man.

He is surely not the type of man you would want to have as your husband. He is a terrible liar and cannot be trusted. How could he want to marry you when he has blatantly lied on you? He is a bad man, absolutely no good.

I am glad that you are going back to school and I am also glad that your father did not ask you to leave his house after you become pregnant. He is a good father. I hope you would love him until he dies. Keep well.


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