My man is fooling around


November 23, 2016

Dear Pastor,

This is my first time writing to you, but I am a regular reader of your column and I listen to you on the radio every night. Please keep up the good work.

I am 30 years old and I am living with a man. We have been living together for four years. We couldn't get married before because he was married and he was not divorced.

He was not legal, but now he is legal in the country so he is not afraid of his ex-wife. Well, she is not his wife anymore.

This man does not have anything, so I am not with him because of what he has, but from the day we met I just love him. He treated me very well. Even when I became ill, he washed every piece of my clothes. I didn't have a washing machine.

One holiday his friends came by and they saw him washing my clothes and one of them shouted "Hey! Maama man". They teased him but he didn't care.

I have a problem now with him. Now that he has got his stay and a better job, he has started going to clubs and stays out late.

He has a new girl in his life. This girl is only 20 years old. He told me it wasn't true but whenever he answers his phone, he whispers. That never used to be so.

This girl is getting his money. I should be getting his money, that is what I told him. He would bring Christ from off the cross when I talk to him about this girl.

One day I went to the mall and I saw him with her. I went up to him and told him to come home right now, and the girl said that he is not a boy so I should not talk to him that way.


I felt like smacking her down. When he saw that I was angry, he got up and left the girl.

I am wondering if I should leave him. He knows the amount of money I have spent on him and how I have helped him to get his papers, and this is what I am going through. I need your advice.


Dear R.P.,

It is not the girl you should be talking to. You shouldn't have any argument with her at all.

You should always remember that you are a grown woman, a mature woman, and it is your husband who has suddenly become so hot that he believes that a much younger woman would suit him well.

He is saying that there is nothing between the young girl and himself, but you know better. This girl could not take his money unless he wants her to have it.

Perhaps he is just having a fling. I doubt very much that he would leave you for this girl.

You need to tell him that whether or not he has been to bed with this girl, he needs to end the relationship he is having with her now.

He might not admit that they have had an intimate relationship, but whether that is so or not, tell him you are not prepared to continue the relationship if he does not leave the girl.

Go further by advising him that you will ask him to leave and then take out an injunction against him.


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