My man can't get an erection


December 05, 2016

Dear Pastor,

When I was in grade nine in high school, I used to like one of my teachers. I would write letters to him. I also told a few of my friends about him. He always looked out for me in class.

One day, he called me back after class and told me that he likes me too, but that he does not want to get into trouble because I am underage. I told him I understood.

We would talk normally at school. I had an interest in him, so I always had an interest in the subject he taught. Because of that, I used to do well. When I was in grade 11 he helped me with my SBA, which I passed along with the other subjects. It was at that time that he gave me his number for SBA purposes. We didn't text otherwise. Furthermore, I hardly texted him as I saw him regularly.

When I left school and was going back through a book, I saw his number. We started to text a few times, and he asked me if I still liked him and what I liked about him? I told him he is decent, caring, dresses nicely and I love the way he walks.

I am 20 now, and he is 33. We text every day. He said he always liked me from school days because I was so serious, ambitious and decent.

He told one of his female co-workers, which is his best friend, about me and she didn't find any problem with him dating me. He got a divorce from his wife recently and she moved out.


The problem is, I went to his house recently. We were kissing and it seemed things were getting to the next level. I told him I didn't want him to take off my clothes or see me naked because it was the first time with him, so I was shy. I went to the bathroom and came back with a sheet around me and told him to come under the sheet. When he was ready to insert his penis into my vagina, he lost his erection. He said it was because I took so long in the bathroom that I broke his urge.

I was so mad at him. I put on my clothes and ignored him. Then he got in the mood again and the same thing happened. I was even more upset. I put on my clothes and went outside. I stood where his vehicle was parked until he met me outside and took me home. I ignored him until I was almost at my destination.

I love him so much, but do you think he can't stand up long? I am worried about that. Please give me your advice.


Dear S.D.,

You have been showing interest in this teacher for a long time and evidently he liked you, too. But he told you that he had to be cautious because you were underage. His wife and him are now divorced and you believe that this is a good opportunity for you to become his woman.

There are many reasons that could cause this man to lose his erection. Anxiety is one factor. Nervousness is another reason. Perhaps this man thought about you as a student of his and it affected him. There are so many things that would cause a man to lose his erection. Of course, there are medical reasons also. But you were grossly disappointed because you were ready to take him on a journey and he couldn't drive. You considered him, therefore, a waste of time.

I know that you still believe that something can happen with both of you in this relationship, and that is why you are so concerned about his condition.

You can encourage him to go to see a doctor. What this man has gone through can be temporary. I am not encouraging you to have sex, but if you are determined to have sex with this man or another, make sure you use a condom.


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