Can't believe I married a 'wutliss' man


February 06, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am in my early 20s. I got married eight months ago. We are both Christians. The problem that I am having with my husband is that he is very childish and immature. It is like I am the man and the woman in one. I have to figure out how or what we can do to move forward. He doesn't even know how the bills are paid. We don't have jobs at the moment, but we know that there are little things one can do to make money.

I suggested to him that we can try to raise some chickens, but it seems as if he is not interested. He just wants to sit down. I have to be pushing him like a wheelbarrow to do something. This man frustrates me so much. Pastor, I am tired. Sometimes, I regret that I got married to him. Whenever I try to talk to him about his behaviour, he walks out of the house and doesn't listen to what I have to say to him. He can't even have a good conversation. I wish I were still single.

When I got married, I was still a virgin. I am a well-kept young woman. I can't believe that after waiting for so long this is what I got myself into. One day I was talking to him about not being flexible, and he took up a basket to hit me and he put it back down in anger and ended up breaking the handle off. I was so shocked, I started laughing. I told him that if he had hit me, I would have stabbed him up. Sometimes I feel like I hate him so badly.

Pastor, please, tell me what to do. I await your response.


Dear S.G.,

Perhaps, you and this man to make an appointment to see a family counsellor. Why is it that the both of you are unemployed? Do you mean that both of you have lost your jobs during the last eight months? You say that your marriage took place about eight months ago. If you were unemployed before you got married, the marriage should not have taken place.

Unemployed people should not get married because they have to support themselves and they have bills to pay. If your husband was working and you were not working, life would not be so difficult. But life would be very stressful if the bills are piling up and no money is coming in. Therefore, you need to put out an emergency call in church and let the members know that both of you need jobs and your marriage is under pressure. The brethren should be glad to help you.

I hope that your husband will not continue to be neglectful or lazy, but that he will do everything that is legal to earn a living. Be sure call a family counsellor as early as possible. I wish you well.


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