Dad doesn't know my man is married


April 26, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I have a man friend, but he is married. My relatives don't know that he is married. He has become my father's good friend. My father is 70 years old, and he takes my father around whenever my father needs help. My father is a pensioner. I told him that I would have to tell my father that he is married because my father is always asking me when we are going to get married.

Pastor, this man has been working in Jamaica for seven years. He told me that his wife wants to come and live with him because the company he is working with wants him to stay, and he wants to stay. But it is not because he has fallen in love with Jamaica, it is because he has fallen in love with me.

I have two children, and they are girls. At present, both of them are in university, and he helps me with them financially. The girls asked me when we are going to get married, and I told them that something is in the way. They are old enough to figure out that something is wrong, but I have not told them what. I love this man so much, but I don't want my father to die not knowing the truth.

His wife does not know that he has another woman in Jamaica. He goes up to see her often, but she has only been to Jamaica a few times. What should I do?


Dear T.L,

You say that this man is married, but both of you are lovers. Your father thinks that this man is single. It is either you have told your father that he is single or you gave him the impression that he is single because your father does not expect you to be intimate with a married man. Your father appreciates you and he appreciates this man. The man is very kind and helpful to your father. But you are cruel to your daddy. You are killing him slowly.

You know that your man is married, but you are keeping it as a secret. It is time for you to approach your father and tell him the truth. If you are afraid to tell him, you should ask the man to tell your father that he is a married man and he regrets that he cannot marry you because of his present status. Let him tell your father that you are very unhappy about the situation and that you are too embarrassed to tell him the truth.

If you do not wish to tell your father that the man is married, you may tell the gentleman not to come back because you cannot continue to live a lie. Tell him that you are going to tell your father that both of you have broken up, so he would not be seeing you again.

I must admit to you that this is not an easy letter to answer. You have made it difficult for yourself by giving your dad the impression that you and this man are in love and one day you are going to get married. You know that nothing could be further from the truth. The man is already happily married and has no intention of marrying you. You are not only deceiving your father, but you are deceiving your two girls who are hoping that one day this man would be their stepfather.

When they come to know the truth, they are going to lose respect for you. It might be painful in letting this man go, but it is the right thing to do.


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