Gave my man 'bun' and got pregnant


April 27, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and I am pregnant. I had two children before, but I gave them away to their father's relatives because he wanted me to stay home and take care of the children, while I wanted to go back to school. I got some help from a man to go back to school, and did so for a year. But carelessness has gotten me pregnant by another guy different from the one who is paying for me to go to school.

I cannot go back to my mother because my mother is living with a man and space is not available. The man who is helping me knows the truth, and he says I can stay with him until the baby is born. But, he does not want the father to come around.

This man is not mean to me. He still gives me money to go and buy food for the house. But he does not take me anywhere anymore, because he doesn't want anyone to feel that he is the one who got me pregnant.

The guy who got me pregnant told me that I can come and stay with him. It is not a place for a young girl like me to stay. Sometimes I cry to see how I have gotten myself mix up with someone who can't help me much. I was very comfortable with this man until I gave the other guy a chance in my life and he told me the condom broke. He didn't even know when it happened.

Sometimes I am tempted to do an abortion, but my boyfriend told me that abortion is a sin. However, he said that he will not support me and a baby. What should I do?


Dear Y.R.,

I don't need to tell you that you are very careless. You had two children and their father did not want you to go back to school. He wanted you to stay home and take care of his children. You did the right thing by giving the children up so that you could go back to school. After giving these children up, you should have been extra careful. You haven't said much about the man with whom you are living, but he is giving you shelter and food.

You carelessly got pregnant again, and the man is telling you that you have to leave. So, put some pressure on the man who got you pregnant. Let him find a place to put you or be prepared to suffer the inconvenience of your mother's house if she would take you back.


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