Husband called other woman's name during sex


May 02, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am married to a man for the past three years, but we have been together for five years. Before we got married, the relationship was up and down.

Sometimes we got along very well and at another time we didn't. He said that I was too judgemental, but he was very sneaky and he had an eye for pretty women. At the same time, he never ignored me.

We didn't live together but whenever I wanted him, I could find him. There was a particular girl who he took out on her birthday and bought her an expensive phone without telling me.

But the girl told one of her friends how he treated her well and where he took her, and the friend told me. When I confronted him, he did not deny it. He said he would not do it again, but she needed a phone and the one she had was outdated, so he bought her one.

This may sound funny to you, pastor. My husband says there is nothing between this girl and him. I want to believe him because apart from the incident with the phone, I don't see any signs of him cheating.

But three times now, when I am having sex with him, he has called the girl's name. I notice it happened when he was about to ejaculate.

When it happened the first time, I did not say anything. The second time I asked him what he said and he said nothing.

The third time I couldn't bear it, so I pushed him off and told him that if this girl means so much to him, he can go to her because I am sure he is having sex with her.

He would bring down Jesus from the cross and say nothing goes like that. But he can't give me a good reason for calling her name during sex.

I called the girl and asked her if she is having an affair with my husband and she told me that I should go and wash myself and leave her alone, because she has nothing to do with my husband.

She told my husband that I called her and he was very upset. I was only trying to save my marriage. This girl has a reputation of loving married men.

I don't see my husband refusing her if she offers him sex. I still want to know why he called her name three times while having sex with me.


Dear P.S.,

Don't allow jealousy to destroy your relationship. I do not mean that you should not try to safeguard your relationship, but the more you watch, the less you will see.

You knew him as a player, but he didn't marry the other women. He chose you out of all of them.

If this man was hiding the fact that he bought a phone for this young woman, he would have told her to keep it a secret. Perhaps he would not have admitted to you that he did so.

I am sure a man can buy a woman a phone and the relationship is simply platonic. I think your primary problem is the fact that on three occasions while making love to your husband, he mentioned the name of this young woman.

If he has never had sex with her, it is his desire to do so. But, it does give the impression that they have had sex and it was most enjoyable. So, in the height of enjoying the act with you, he called her name. What a something!

However, I will close by saying that your husband says that nothing is going on between himself and this woman, and you have no concrete evidence that he is being intimate with her.

So, leave it like that and try to have a good relationship with your husband.


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