My boyfriend used two condoms to protect me

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you for the first time, and I am doing so because I am having a problem. I am 18 years old. I was molested when I was younger, and the guy who molested me ran away. I got counselling and it affected me a lot, but not to the extent that I could not study and pass my exams.

Now, I am in college, and I am studying very hard. I want to be a teacher. My mom is a teacher. When I told my mother that I wanted to be a teacher, she reminded me of what she has always said: "Much money is not in teaching, but without teachers, there would not be any professional persons in the world."

I have a boyfriend. He is 23 years old. I love him and I trust him. We have been friends for one year. My mother knows him. She talks to him about protecting me. We had sex the first week of January for the first time, and he put on two condoms to protect me. I do not take any money from him. My mother told me that I should not take money from men.

My best friend, who is 19 years old, told me that when my boyfriend leaves, I should not put that on my head. I should look for another boyfriend because if he is going to live up there, he will find another girlfriend. I told him what my friend said, and he said all men are not the same so I shouldn't listen to her.

He is planning to leave for Canada. I wish I could leave with him. I promised to be true to him. I know I can hold out when he is gone, but I am not sure about him. If he doesn't prove to be faithful to me, I wouldn't want any other man in my life.

I will be looking in THE STAR for your comments.

A.R.

Dear A.R.,

I am sorry to hear that you were sexually abused. I am happy that you received help and now you are doing well. You seem to have a very good relationship with your mother, and she is trying to guide you in the proper path. I wish the rapist was caught, tried and punished.

You want to be a teacher. It is a very rewarding field of work, so I trust that you would work hard and do well in college and to be in a position to make a worthy contribution to society.

Your boyfriend is making a very big mistake. It is unwise for him to use two condoms at the same time to have sex with you. Doubling the condoms can easily cause them to break because they are rubbing on each other. It does not give additional protection, so please, desist from doing so. Remember now, there is no added protection in using two condoms at the same time. I am sure you wouldn't want anything to happen to you. It would make your mother very sad and hinder your progress in life.

Pastor