Ex-boyfriend shamed me in public


May 17, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 23 years old. My ex-boyfriend is 25 years old. I grew up very poor, but I was always bright. My sister and I learnt to accept what we had.

My father left us when we were children. He went away and did not support us. My mother did not know where he was. She worked as a higgler and sent us to school.

My sister and I had very little to eat, but we got through high school. I remember having just two panties. When I met my boyfriend, I told him the struggles that we had, and I mentioned that I was down to two panties.

One day, he and I had a fuss. He was staying with me, and he stood up right at the door when people were passing and told me that one time, I didn't even have panties.

I was so ashamed. I broke up with him. I haven't forgiven him.

Now he is asking me to forgive him and saying that he is willing to get counselling and get married. I don't know what to do. Please give me your advice.


Dear V.W.,

You may make your own decision, but I would not suggest that you go back to this man. He is not a good man.

He was your lover, and you told him how you struggled. What you said to him was very personal, and he disgraced you by openly speaking about it. Let him go about his business. You should be able to find a better man.

Some may say that you should forgive him, but forgiving him for what he did does not mean that you have to go back to him. That is how I see it. Take care of yourself.


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